[maymie]

I admit I have made my fair share of mistakes. I will never deny that. In fact I'm probably the first one to admit I make mistakes. But there are mistakes I made years ago that are still being thrown in my face. Mistakes made years ago that I still hear about. I try not to let it get to me but it very much does. It effects me. It messes with me. I'm not perfect but neither are they. How am I supposed to deal with having my mistakes thrown in my face? I don't know how to deal with it. Now of course I'm sad because all I can do is think about the mistake that was thrown in my face.

[kaliope]

as long as you have learned from your mistakes that is all that counts. and you can point that out when somebody throws them in your face, that you do not do those things anymore for that very reason and console yourself with that knowledge. take care

[Bumblebuzz12]

Give them a response they never saw coming. Next time they throw something at you say," yep, I did that, and I'm sure I'm not the only person who's done that. But most importantly I know not to do it again and if you wanna keep throwing that in my face, fine. But that says more about you than me doesn't it?" And leave them to answer that. But don't stay long enough to hear what they have to say because the last thing you need is to be burned. Good luck

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by maymie

I admit I have made my fair share of mistakes. I will never deny that. In fact I'm probably the first one to admit I make mistakes. But there are mistakes I made years ago that are still being thrown in my face. Mistakes made years ago that I still hear about. I try not to let it get to me but it very much does. It effects me. It messes with me. I'm not perfect but neither are they. How am I supposed to deal with having my mistakes thrown in my face? I don't know how to deal with it. Now of course I'm sad because all I can do is think about the mistake that was thrown in my face.

How is it you are getting your mistakes thrown in your face? The person is chastising you or you yourself are reminded by something they say or do? In other words, is it your guilt talking to you or is this other person actually abusing you with the past? If it is your own guilt, that's one thing, but if the other person is constantly reminding you as in: "In 1974, you did this and I'm still mad about it!" You have the choice to walk away from that conversation and refuse to be drawn back in. Perfection shouldn't even come into the picture; none of us here is perfect.

[dilemma-girl]

Going through the same thing

Originally Posted by maymie

I admit I have made my fair share of mistakes. I will never deny that. In fact I'm probably the first one to admit I make mistakes. But there are mistakes I made years ago that are still being thrown in my face. Mistakes made years ago that I still hear about. I try not to let it get to me but it very much does. It effects me. It messes with me. I'm not perfect but neither are they. How am I supposed to deal with having my mistakes thrown in my face? I don't know how to deal with it. Now of course I'm sad because all I can do is think about the mistake that was thrown in my face.

You know that these mistakes were in the past. First step in not letting them affect you is by taking to heart the fact that they are over and done and you are past that. Just simply state that that's done and over and in no way does it affect your present anymore. Tell them to get over it and leave it at that. don't pursue the argument to convince them how it hurts you, that's the whole point of throwing something in someone's face, to make you feel bad, hurt you and cause guilt in you over someting. it's a manipulation that is used in an argument to gain the upper hand over the other person. walk away, state what I said first and then leave the conversation. let them know that as soon as they are ready to talk about things of the present and leave the past where it belongs, you'll talk to them again. Do this consistently and I don't doubt it will stop them from using it to get to you.

Originally Posted by IceCreamKid

How is it you are getting your mistakes thrown in your face? The person is chastising you or you yourself are reminded by something they say or do? In other words, is it your guilt talking to you or is this other person actually abusing you with the past? If it is your own guilt, that's one thing, but if the other person is constantly reminding you as in: "In 1974, you did this and I'm still mad about it!" You have the choice to walk away from that conversation and refuse to be drawn back in. Perfection shouldn't even come into the picture; none of us here is perfect.

I think it's clear that soemone is pointing out her mistakes of her past, by her stating that it's being thrown in her face. I"m not sure how it can be translated to all being in her head but I do agree as I stated previously that she should walk away from conversations that turn into one involving her past mistakes.