Confused

I am very confused about my feelings for my ex.
We broke up 4 mos ago, lived together for a yr, were very
serious. We now have a love /hate relationship.. I had such
a rough time w this specific one. I am STILL not over him,
but I believe he has moved on. I still believe in us...idk why.
After we broke up, he wuz another person; bitter, nasty... idk.
I was the happiest in my life when I wuz SAFE. I wuz me again.

I am afraid to say something because what if I am not right..? If you think he has moved on, maybe you should too? Trust me I know how hard it is, but i think if love is there people don't waste time being without each other. Tell me more about you 2 so I can understand more

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Has there been any contact between you two during these past 4 months?

yes, there wuz contact.. it wuz crazy, I think I wuz confused the whole time,
I loved him one day, but hated him the next, I accused him of doing things
he never did ie: cheating, loving his ex still.. Honestly, I drove him crazy, texted
all the time, idk, I screwed up alot , mistrust, fear of him leaving, insecurities
were crazy. However I acted as a housewife, and gave him everything I had.
We got together on my bday, it wuz just supposed to be good ol fashioned sex,
but... we made love. idk, it wuz confusing cuz it felt like we never broke up..we held
each other and talked til the am. we talked about dating again, but he backed out,
I lost it...yet again. We were truly compatible in every way, but he pushed me away,
I kept texting all the time, basically stalking him.. I never meant to do that, I
just didn't want to throw a really good thing away... Then, the explosion came; I kept
accusing him , but I started making bad **** up in my head... He wanted to be intimate . I would say yes, then no.. I wuz hot and cold; in Essence; we were BOTH confused. last week we had a huge fight cuz I accused him of his ex again.. this time
I went to far; he tripped out,we put each other down. It wuz ugly!!! He changed his number and I feel AWFUL. I am soo stupid.

He is bi polar, I am Bi polar, Bpd and ocd. Help!!!! What do i do?

I think that you need to try and move on. A relationship takes two people, so if your ex is not into having a relationship, it will be good to move on. You two may be made for each other, but your ex has made it clear that he doesn't want a relationship. I would say mourn the loss of a partner and accept that there is nothing you can do to get him back at the moment.