What do you think?

lightinthesky · Jan 15, 2014, 05:46 PM

So.. it's been half a year now since the break up, but I am not sure I am moving forward, I am visiting my therapist once a week, I started doing yoga and fitness last week.. Something scares me, no matter what I do, I see my ex in my head, our first date, our kisses, sometimes I even imagine what would it be like if we met again. He was the one who broke up with me and he clearly doesn't love me, so I get it, accept it. I don't want him in my head 24/7, all I think about is him, every day is a self work on "how to move on", I even read books about it, why, why so hard to let go? I understand that I love him, but when will my body/heart/head give up? I think of him, what is he doing, how, where.. almost every minute of my life I am thinking about this person ho doesn't waste even a second a week thinking about me.

The.1983 · Jan 15, 2014, 06:04 PM

Sorry to hear this. I'm going through the same feelings so I know where your coming from.
Can't really give you much advise, except the usual, make yourself happy, improve yourself and you'll attract a new man.
Read, the secret, great book

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River11 · Jan 15, 2014, 08:02 PM

So feeling for you

Of course it's hard, and can take more time than you'd like, especially if you were together for quite a while.
I don't have anything helpful to offer right now, except that from experience I can tell you that IT WILL PASS. Soon enough you will look back and recognise that there have been gaps where you haven't thought about or pictured him, then you will see that those gaps are getting bigger, and one day you'll discover that you're free of him!

Jan 15, 2014, 09:06 PM

Time truly does heal. If you find yourself getting depressed - go see a doctor as an antidepressant or anxiety-med may help you. Take care.

lightinthesky · Jan 16, 2014, 06:59 AM

I really hope time does heal, I don't feel it so far but maybe I need much much more time ..

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hvert · Jan 16, 2014, 08:39 AM

Sometimes it just takes a really long time to get over certain people, even a year or two. It might be helpful to find something completely unrelated to self-improvement to absorb your mental energy.

Just as an analogy: the first few times I tried to quit smoking, I spent all of my time reading about quitting, talking to other people who were quitting,. This meant that I was ALWAYS thinking about smoking and sooner or later I'd start again. When I finally quit, I stayed away from the topic completely, until I got over the hump.

cdnomore · Jan 16, 2014, 12:30 PM

Hey Light, you are going to have a man who deserves your beautiful love someday, think and imagine how wonderful it will be to be with a strong hearted, sincere, and loving man who will hold you and appreciate you, and see what a wonderful full heart you have, so full of love...don't you want to make yourself available for THAT not stuck in the pain of exboyfriend?
I know you do, I know I do, but, wow, once I identified that little love inside myself, it took my breath away, how sweet, how good to know that you are going to be loved, and that you can love without pain, without rejection, without hurt as much as you need, because you have it in you...it IS you...
maybe this sounds weired to you right now, because you are focused on that guy not giving you what you needed...and thinking it had something to do with you, well, it doesn't...
this is my sermon today " He did exactly what he wanted to do...in EXACTLY the way he wanted to do it." OUCH!
What about you lightinthesky, are you gonna let him keep doing that to you? thats NOT what you wanted and needed then, and its not what you want and need now.
C'mon girl, get what YOU want and need, but first know what it is...and be strong!

lightinthesky · Jan 16, 2014, 02:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cdnomore

Hey Light, you are going to have a man who deserves your beautiful love someday, think and imagine how wonderful it will be to be with a strong hearted, sincere, and loving man who will hold you and appreciate you, and see what a wonderful full heart you have, so full of love...don't you want to make yourself available for THAT not stuck in the pain of exboyfriend?
I know you do, I know I do, but, wow, once I identified that little love inside myself, it took my breath away, how sweet, how good to know that you are going to be loved, and that you can love without pain, without rejection, without hurt as much as you need, because you have it in you...it IS you...
maybe this sounds weired to you right now, because you are focused on that guy not giving you what you needed...and thinking it had something to do with you, well, it doesn't...
this is my sermon today " He did exactly what he wanted to do...in EXACTLY the way he wanted to do it." OUCH!
What about you lightinthesky, are you gonna let him keep doing that to you? thats NOT what you wanted and needed then, and its not what you want and need now.
C'mon girl, get what YOU want and need, but first know what it is...and be strong!

Nobody knows if one day we gonna be loved be someone else as much as ourselves are capable to love, I wish it worked this way. I know what you mean but i really don't chose to be stuck, I just find it very hard to get over/let go/forget. it was everything for me.

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cdnomore · Jan 16, 2014, 02:23 PM

I get that, I remember the other things I've read that definetly support that comment, you are hurting, and no doubt about it.
It was everything for you, and still means a lot to you.
You are doing things to take care of yourself now, and thats good. I see that you are trying.
I admire that. Keep going...

vans1974 · Jan 16, 2014, 02:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lightinthesky

So.. it's been half a year now since the break up, but I am not sure I am moving forward, I am visiting my therapist once a week, I started doing yoga and fitness last week.. Something scares me, no matter what I do, I see my ex in my head, our first date, our kisses, sometimes I even imagine what would it be like if we met again. He was the one who broke up with me and he clearly doesn't love me, so I get it, accept it. I don't want him in my head 24/7, all I think about is him, every day is a self work on "how to move on", I even read books about it, why, why so hard to let go? I understand that I love him, but when will my body/heart/head give up? I think of him, what is he doing, how, where.. almost every minute of my life I am thinking about this person ho doesn't waste even a second a week thinking about me.

Hey lightinthesky, sorry to hear!! For me the only way to get over someone is to find someone better! Hope that helps a bit and best of luck!

lightinthesky · Jan 16, 2014, 03:11 PM

Oh really not into other relationship right now, I don't know how to explain that, but i have issues, I am afraid I will be looking for someone like him, or I will expect my partner to love me as much as I loved my ex - and it is already alot to ask. I don't meet that many new people so I don't meet guys and I never knew how to be single really, but i don't think it bothers me too much anymore, I would rather be alone. I know everyone says you will meet someone but i doubt it is all so nice and easy and fair in this world.

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lightinthesky · Jan 16, 2014, 03:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cdnomore

I get that, I remember the other things I've read that definetly support that comment, you are hurting, and no doubt about it.
It was everything for you, and still means a lot to you.
You are doing things to take care of yourself now, and thats good. I see that you are trying.
I admire that. Keep going...

Thank you

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