[Betty1Boop]

I met and danced with a nice looking man on NYE and I agreed to meet him again tonight. In the week since I met him I have not been able to imagine any kind of interaction with him positive or negative. In general, I'm not looking for a partner and I don't like to leave my house a lot, but I love to dance occasionally. When I got to the venue on NYE I spotted this guy and he was the one I wanted to ask me to dance. It took him a while but he finally asked.

I'm not cold but maybe I'm not real warm either. He was very warm. I'm worried he will end up on my long list of men I've disappointed.

Also, there's a big difference in our education levels. That's been an issue at times in my life.

He gave me his phone number when we parted. It was already written down. I wonder how many of these he hands out and what it might mean.

My biggest goal for the rest of my life is to live as peaceably as possible while disappointing the fewest number of people possible.

HELP! Am I asking for trouble if I meet this guy tonight?

[Jan1212]

Let him know that you're not looking for a relationship at this time, but would be happy to go out to dance with him as a friend. And ask what is he looking for

I get what your goal is, but are you going out with this man just to make him happy? You should do things to make yourself happy. But if you know you're going to regret it try going on this date, but let him know your intention.

[Betty1Boop]

Originally Posted by Jan1212

Let him know that you're not looking for a relationship at this time, but would be happy to go out to dance with him as a friend. And ask what is he looking for

I get what your goal is, but are you going out with this man just to make him happy? You should do things to make yourself happy. But if you know you're going to regret it try going on this date, but let him know your intention.

Thank you! I may be going to make him happy. I've been doing that kind of thing my whole life. But then maybe it's the only way I would have had a life. I think I am more likely to regret it then not, but that is true of every date I ever had. (If anyone can tell me what that means, please do!)

I always say I don't want a relationship and that seems to bring out the psycho aspect in men. About a year and a half ago I was doing some volunteer work with a guy who ended up stalking me after I said I didn't want to date. It's still not over but it's less intense now. Part of me thinks if I had given him a chance it might not have gotten ugly.

[cdnomore]

Follow what you want to do. Socializing is good though, maybe you could arrainge a group get together, instead of feeling like you have to risk the possibility of saying no to a relationship...keep it a little more fun and friendly. That way he may get the idea on his own, and you can see what kind of person he is around your friends, and decide whether spending time with him is worth it or not.

[Betty1Boop]

Okay, I'm going! Although I won't be monitoring this please send wishes for good luck through the air. Thanks!

[lightinthesky]

I think I wouldn't go but good luck to you xx

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[NWgirl2013]

Good Luck Betty! I am glad you are going. I love that you like to dance, it is a good, fun, harmless, non commitment way to get out & have fun.

Maybe this guy will be down with that? I hope you have/had a fantastic time, going out because You wanted to...

What am I saying? I LOVE to dance! Why am I not putting myself out there? (silly me)

[lightinthesky]

And.. i recently joined some dance classes, it makes me a little bit happier and feeling healthier and I can go there whenever I want, maybe you should do something like that too?

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[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Betty1Boop

Thank you! I may be going to make him happy. I've been doing that kind of thing my whole life. But then maybe it's the only way I would have had a life. I think I am more likely to regret it then not, but that is true of every date I ever had. (If anyone can tell me what that means, please do!)

I always say I don't want a relationship and that seems to bring out the psycho aspect in men. About a year and a half ago I was doing some volunteer work with a guy who ended up stalking me after I said I didn't want to date. It's still not over but it's less intense now. Part of me thinks if I had given him a chance it might not have gotten ugly.

If this stalker, has displayed this behavior, without dating, I'd politely beg to differ about your thought at the outcome, he'd probably be some controlling type of guy. Good call, there.

As far as the new date, it's just a date, you aren't agreeing to marriage or anything like that. Hope things, go well, for you, and you can have an enjoyable time.

[Betty1Boop]

He was late--30 minutes. I didn't pretend I wasn't pissed. I asked him all the basic questions--he didn't ask me anything. I only volunteered that I garden year round. I think he is a boy in a man's body. I'm not the motherly type. I'm going to introduce him to the ladies in my MeetUp group.

[Betty1Boop]

Originally Posted by NWgirl2013

Good Luck Betty! I am glad you are going. I love that you like to dance, it is a good, fun, harmless, non commitment way to get out & have fun.

Maybe this guy will be down with that? I hope you have/had a fantastic time, going out because You wanted to...

What am I saying? I LOVE to dance! Why am I not putting myself out there? (silly me)

Thank you! I can't prove it but I have a sneaking suspicion this is a guy who lived with his mother until she passed away, and is now looking for another female to fill the vacancy she left. He is into dancing, and I think he knows
I'm not the one.

Now, how can I help get you out dancing?

[Betty1Boop]

Originally Posted by lightinthesky

And.. i recently joined some dance classes, it makes me a little bit happier and feeling healthier and I can go there whenever I want, maybe you should do something like that too?

Sent from my SM-N9005 using Tapatalk

Thank you! I'm a bit of a recluse and I live alone in a rural area. A couple of years ago I realized I had to do some things with other people some of the time. I found this thing called MeetUp and it gets me out just a little more than I really like, but it's okay. It includes opportunities to go dancing.

[eskielover]

So is he a good dancer? It's not easy to find guys that like to dance & who are good dancers. Hope you had fun even though he was late. It's always nice to find someone who knows how to dance because the more you dance with them the more you get the feel for it rather than trying to always figure out their lead.

We are having our monthly dance at the community arts center in Danville this Friday evening Jan 10 8pm......it's the first one we've had in a couple of months because the one in December was cancelled due to bad weather (Ice stormy like weather). Think the USA Dance is held once a month at the Baptist church just south of Lexington on hwy 27. I am sure you have enough dance action more local to your area. Only went to that one time & it seemed like it could be more fun if you go more often & they get to know that you know now to dance.

Just thawing out from all this cold.....I haven't been out of the house since Sunday (or maybe it was Monday when I poked my nose out when I was thinking about going to my DBT group & decided it was TOO COLD).

[Betty1Boop]

Originally Posted by eskielover

So is he a good dancer? It's not easy to find guys that like to dance & who are good dancers. Hope you had fun even though he was late. It's always nice to find someone who knows how to dance because the more you dance with them the more you get the feel for it rather than trying to always figure out their lead.

We are having our monthly dance at the community arts center in Danville this Friday evening Jan 10 8pm......it's the first one we've had in a couple of months because the one in December was cancelled due to bad weather (Ice stormy like weather). Think the USA Dance is held once a month at the Baptist church just south of Lexington on hwy 27. I am sure you have enough dance action more local to your area. Only went to that one time & it seemed like it could be more fun if you go more often & they get to know that you know now to dance.

Just thawing out from all this cold.....I haven't been out of the house since Sunday (or maybe it was Monday when I poked my nose out when I was thinking about going to my DBT group & decided it was TOO COLD).

I hear you on the cold... He does seem to have the natural ability to be a decent dancer but the lead was very weak. He kept moving his left hand position with a frequency of tapping--maybe nervousness. He also kept reaching for my left hand before I could complete turns. He looked like a little boy getting a scolding when I told him I would always bring my hand back to the right place. That being said, if he learns a little more, he'll be dangerous to lonely ladies everywhere. I've seen that play out many times over the years. It amazes me that more men don't pick up on that and learn to dance.

There are 2 dance clubs here in Louisville that both have a night of lessons and dance at Jim Porter's every week. I've only been there 3 times in 7 years but since my MeetUp will be doing this more I probably will as well. Since I started out dancing in another town my dance is a little different and I wasn't excited to change and learn more--hopefully, I'm over that. And nobody asked me to dance when I went there the first time. My MeetUp is scheduled to go tonight, but I heard mention of freezing rain tonight. I live quite a ways out of town so I'm not sure I should go out.

I've only been to Danville a few times. It's a very lovely area! I hope you get out to the dance this Friday. The longer you go between dances the more likely you are to forget how much fun it is--BTDT!

[eskielover]

We had the freezing rain down here on Thursday night....it was over by around 9pm though.....I drove to our Bible study which was being held at one of my neighbor's farm......we all own farms in the same area & go to the same church.....they are only a few miles down the road from where my farm is.....so it wasn't a bad drive in that weather..........

Ended up having my front breaks replaced Friday....got finished with it just after 5pm.....I ended up coming home & crashing rather than going out dancing......it was a long day....& my other friend that likes to go ended up having frozen pipes earlier in the week & was having a pot belly stove installed on her farm so she wasn't up to going either. Unfortunately right now I have a conflict on the Thursday night when they are holding the dance lessons. I chose the dance lessons in the fall, but this time, the Bible study is going to win. It's too hard to go to one one week & then the other the next. I learn the dances really easily.....but just don't get the feel that I like when I'm trying to time share my time between my interests. Will get back into the dancing later in the spring & summer but may try to go to the monthly dances on Friday nights when the weather gets better. I'm really bad at not liking to go out at night when it's really cold & not great weather since I'm usually doing it alone or bring Leo & Tawny with me (my 2 eskie dogs)......they make wonderful dates only Leo would never make it as a dancer....lol.....they are definitely wonderful companions though.

It is hard to understand why more guys don't realize how many women they could catch learning how to dance & lead well......but I think so many are just so self conscious. Know my H would NEVER EVER get out on the dance floor......so self conscious & both left feet he would never even take lessons to try & learn but that was ok because then I never had to dance with him. He was never DX'ed until just before I left with Adult ADD.....but I'm sure there was much more wrong with him that was never Dx'ed given the things that he's done in his life & his inability to handle anything that is outside his comfort zone (which was basically everything & he would never push himself to do anything)