I seriously believe people just simply do not like me, or at least not enough to be friends. It is always me who initiates contact with people, even if people in person say they are interested in hanging out or just simply talking, it is always me who initiates it and I'm no dummy, it clearly means they really don't care about me as much. And it is with everyone, like I seriously am sick of it and I'm just not sure what to do anymore. I can take a hint and if I find people really don't want me then I back off, but just don't understand why people don't like me. People will be like, oh yes, we should or will definitely hang out, and may even mention a specific day or what we should do. But then when it comes around, they are no where to be found. Sometimes I'll contact them and they'll say they can't or have already made other plans, or I'll wait for them to contact me and they never do. So it is obvious something is wrong, just don't know what it is. I'm really sick of it and it upsets me so much, I'm almost at the point of literally giving up on everyone all together, like literally stop trying to interact with people and only talk to people on a very superficial level since that's what people only seem to want to do with me.

[Rose3]

Hi 15LRC - maybe instead of giving up on everyone, make plans for your own activities, then when you get involved in those - maybe you will meet people who have similar interests? Maybe so far the people who you have been meeting are not quite ready for involvement beyond a superficial level?

[LadyShadow]

Hi there!

Sometimes its hard to deal with. Getting involved in clubs and activities you like can attract more people. These people you are trying to befriend probably have their own crap going on, so its really probably not you.

I personally don't have many friends only because I isolate myself. I wish I was more outgoing and would reach out to people more.

It really isn't you, I don't think.

Originally Posted by PlatinumHeart

Hi there!

Sometimes its hard to deal with. Getting involved in clubs and activities you like can attract more people. These people you are trying to befriend probably have their own crap going on, so its really probably not you.

I personally don't have many friends only because I isolate myself. I wish I was more outgoing and would reach out to people more.

It really isn't you, I don't think.

True but like I said, it happens with everyone I interact with, meanwhile they appear to have all the time in the world with everyone else. Just confuses and irritates me that's all. I'm not expecting attention or anything, just expect to be included like everyone else.

Originally Posted by Rose3

Hi 15LRC - maybe instead of giving up on everyone, make plans for your own activities, then when you get involved in those - maybe you will meet people who have similar interests? Maybe so far the people who you have been meeting are not quite ready for involvement beyond a superficial level?

Yeah, true since it happens with everyone I interact with. They appear to have time for everyone else so maybe I can try to plan something myself and see who decides to show up and show interest or not.

Originally Posted by 15LRC

I seriously believe people just simply do not like me, or at least not enough to be friends. It is always me who initiates contact with people, even if people in person say they are interested in hanging out or just simply talking, it is always me who initiates it and I'm no dummy, it clearly means they really don't care about me as much. And it is with everyone, like I seriously am sick of it and I'm just not sure what to do anymore. I can take a hint and if I find people really don't want me then I back off, but just don't understand why people don't like me. People will be like, oh yes, we should or will definitely hang out, and may even mention a specific day or what we should do. But then when it comes around, they are no where to be found. Sometimes I'll contact them and they'll say they can't or have already made other plans, or I'll wait for them to contact me and they never do. So it is obvious something is wrong, just don't know what it is. I'm really sick of it and it upsets me so much, I'm almost at the point of literally giving up on everyone all together, like literally stop trying to interact with people and only talk to people on a very superficial level since that's what people only seem to want to do with me.

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You sound a lot like me. I just read your profile and I'm also sensitive and I tend to worry a lot too. I also have similar issues. Anyways, perhaps these people are just flakes? Also, maybe they are to busy to hang out, so instead of being honest with you, they just offer you a bunch of lame excuses as to not hurt your feelings.

Also, when you come across as to eager to hang out, they might think that you're desperate for friends and back off. I'm not saying that's what you're doing, but if you contact someone more than once in a row, you might come across as needy. Let them be the one to contact you after the first email or call. If they don't, then move on.

Not everyone will like you no matter how nice you are. Sometimes some people don't click personally for whatever reason. Try not to take rejection personally and don't let a few rejections turn you into a recluse. There is this group called meetup.com that you should join as even I was able to meet a few people on there that I ended up becoming friends with. I'm shy and introverted, so if I can meet people on there, so can you!

It's a numbers game, and sometimes you just have to put yourself out there. Keep social interaction light at first. If you start talking about serious matters and your problems to soon, most people will not want to hang out with you. I learned about that the hard way. Take your time in getting to know people. Talk about common interests like school, movies, music, books, etc...

Avoid controversial topics or talking about other people as much as possible. Don't make jokes that can be taken out of context until you get to know people better. Ask people more questions about themselves. Watch body language to see if they are being honest or not. Closed body language is a sign of disinterest or shyness. Watch yours too. I hope that this helped!

Originally Posted by Shy Introvert

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You sound a lot like me. I just read your profile and I'm also sensitive and I tend to worry a lot too. I also have similar issues. Anyways, perhaps these people are just flakes? Also, maybe they are to busy to hang out, so instead of being honest with you, they just offer you a bunch of lame excuses as to not hurt your feelings.

Also, when you come across as to eager to hang out, they might think that you're desperate for friends and back off. I'm not saying that's what you're doing, but if you contact someone more than once in a row, you might come across as needy. Let them be the one to contact you after the first email or call. If they don't, then move on.

Not everyone will like you no matter how nice you are. Sometimes some people don't click personally for whatever reason. Try not to take rejection personally and don't let a few rejections turn you into a recluse. There is this group called meetup.com that you should join as even I was able to meet a few people on there that I ended up becoming friends with. I'm shy and introverted, so if I can meet people on there, so can you!

It's a numbers game, and sometimes you just have to put yourself out there. Keep social interaction light at first. If you start talking about serious matters and your problems to soon, most people will not want to hang out with you. I learned about that the hard way. Take your time in getting to know people. Talk about common interests like school, movies, music, books, etc...

Avoid controversial topics or talking about other people as much as possible. Don't make jokes that can be taken out of context until you get to know people better. Ask people more questions about themselves. Watch body language to see if they are being honest or not. Closed body language is a sign of disinterest or shyness. Watch yours too. I hope that this helped!

Thank you, yes I agree either they are flakes or they are too polite to be honest so they take the easier route. Yeah I have and decided even more to back off on trying to contact other people to hang out, it is possible I accidently became needy in other people's eyes but then if I go long periods with out contacting anyone, no one seems to care at all about me, it's like I could literally vanish and no one would even care or notice. So yeah, I'll continue to every so often contact someone once from now on and then after that the ball is in their court. Thank you, I'll give that site a try!

[Betty1Boop]

Originally Posted by Rose3

Hi 15LRC - maybe instead of giving up on everyone, make plans for your own activities, then when you get involved in those - maybe you will meet people who have similar interests? Maybe so far the people who you have been meeting are not quite ready for involvement beyond a superficial level?

15LRC, this is excellent advise from Rose3! And I got nothin to make it better.

[Betty1Boop]

Originally Posted by 15LRC

Yeah, true since it happens with everyone I interact with. They appear to have time for everyone else so maybe I can try to plan something myself and see who decides to show up and show interest or not.

I know you're all gonna get tired of me saying it, but there is this thing out there called MeetUp that can give you things to do without having to risk a lot (like having a party and nobody shows up). These groups are full of people who, presumably, share an interest in the group activity we're interested in, may have limited social outlets (for whatever reason)--like us, and are interested in finding new people.

Originally Posted by Betty1Boop

15LRC, this is excellent advise from Rose3! And I got nothin to make it better.

Yes I will take on this advice.

Originally Posted by Betty1Boop

I know you're all gonna get tired of me saying it, but there is this thing out there called MeetUp that can give you things to do without having to risk a lot (like having a party and nobody shows up). These groups are full of people who, presumably, share an interest in the group activity we're interested in, may have limited social outlets (for whatever reason)--like us, and are interested in finding new people.

Oh you're fine, and yes I will check that site up right now, thanks! What is your username on the site?

[ptangptang]

Originally Posted by Shy Introvert

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You sound a lot like me. I just read your profile and I'm also sensitive and I tend to worry a lot too. I also have similar issues. Anyways, perhaps these people are just flakes? Also, maybe they are to busy to hang out, so instead of being honest with you, they just offer you a bunch of lame excuses as to not hurt your feelings.

Also, when you come across as to eager to hang out, they might think that you're desperate for friends and back off. I'm not saying that's what you're doing, but if you contact someone more than once in a row, you might come across as needy. Let them be the one to contact you after the first email or call. If they don't, then move on.

Not everyone will like you no matter how nice you are. Sometimes some people don't click personally for whatever reason. Try not to take rejection personally and don't let a few rejections turn you into a recluse. There is this group called meetup.com that you should join as even I was able to meet a few people on there that I ended up becoming friends with. I'm shy and introverted, so if I can meet people on there, so can you!

It's a numbers game, and sometimes you just have to put yourself out there. Keep social interaction light at first. If you start talking about serious matters and your problems to soon, most people will not want to hang out with you. I learned about that the hard way. Take your time in getting to know people. Talk about common interests like school, movies, music, books, etc...

Avoid controversial topics or talking about other people as much as possible. Don't make jokes that can be taken out of context until you get to know people better. Ask people more questions about themselves. Watch body language to see if they are being honest or not. Closed body language is a sign of disinterest or shyness. Watch yours too. I hope that this helped!

Great advice. Yeah there are a lot of us who feel the same as you. I think firstly you have to like yourself. Don't put yourself down amongst other people and of course don't put them down. Try not to come across as too needy but be interested in other people. Get out ( meetup.com is good) and do stuff you enjoy doing. I like myself and i would want to be friends with me haha, if other people don't that's their loss. Don''t think too much about what YOU think others think of you. Challenge yourself to do things outside of your comfort zone. Think, What's the worst that can happen if it goes wrong. Normally if it does the consequences are minimal and far outweighed by the satisfaction of doing it. People like confidence in other people and the more confidence you get the better you will feel and the more people will enjoy your company.

Originally Posted by ptangptang

Great advice. Yeah there are a lot of us who feel the same as you. I think firstly you have to like yourself. Don't put yourself down amongst other people and of course don't put them down. Try not to come across as too needy but be interested in other people. Get out ( meetup.com is good) and do stuff you enjoy doing. I like myself and i would want to be friends with me haha, if other people don't that's their loss. Don''t think too much about what YOU think others think of you. Challenge yourself to do things outside of your comfort zone. Think, What's the worst that can happen if it goes wrong. Normally if it does the consequences are minimal and far outweighed by the satisfaction of doing it. People like confidence in other people and the more confidence you get the better you will feel and the more people will enjoy your company.

Makes sense, thank you.

Originally Posted by 15LRC

Thank you, yes I agree either they are flakes or they are too polite to be honest so they take the easier route. Yeah I have and decided even more to back off on trying to contact other people to hang out, it is possible I accidently became needy in other people's eyes but then if I go long periods with out contacting anyone, no one seems to care at all about me, it's like I could literally vanish and no one would even care or notice. So yeah, I'll continue to every so often contact someone once from now on and then after that the ball is in their court. Thank you, I'll give that site a try!

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You'll love meetup.com! It's free to join, but if you start your own group, you'll have to pay a monthly fee. There are tons of groups on there for just about everything! It's awesome!

Some people are just selfish and thoughtless. So don't take things to personally when they flake on you. Just be glad that they showed you their true self before you wasted any time on them- I get the impression that you're young. If so, just know that a lot of younger people are more self centered and they don't often take other people's feelings into consideration at times. I'm not saying they're all like that, but that's the way that they are in general. Sadly, even older people can be the same way-

Just keep on being friendly and reach out to people, but know when to give them space. They'll usually make it obvious by their actions and what they do or don't do. You just have to know how to read between the lines sometimes.

Originally Posted by Shy Introvert

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You'll love meetup.com! It's free to join, but if you start your own group, you'll have to pay a monthly fee. There are tons of groups on there for just about everything! It's awesome!

Some people are just selfish and thoughtless. So don't take things to personally when they flake on you. Just be glad that they showed you their true self before you wasted any time on them- I get the impression that you're young. If so, just know that a lot of younger people are more self centered and they don't often take other people's feelings into consideration at times. I'm not saying they're all like that, but that's the way that they are in general. Sadly, even older people can be the same way-

Just keep on being friendly and reach out to people, but know when to give them space. They'll usually make it obvious by their actions and what they do or don't do. You just have to know how to read between the lines sometimes.

Thank you, and yes people are self-centered. I try not to be, I try to put myself in other people's shoes but it still makes me feel like it has to do with me when people reject me. I agree with you, thanks for the advice.

I know how you feel as I tend to take rejection personally at times. I try not to, but it does hurt when you try to reach out to people and they show very little to no interest in being friends- Don't expect to much to soon. I had to learn about that the hard way. The less you expect from people, the better off you'll be.

Originally Posted by Shy Introvert

I know how you feel as I tend to take rejection personally at times. I try not to, but it does hurt when you try to reach out to people and they show very little to no interest in being friends- Don't expect to much to soon. I had to learn about that the hard way. The less you expect from people, the better off you'll be.

Yeah I've been doing that a lot lately. Like, if someone says they want to hang out, I fully expect it not to happen and don't believe it will happen until I see it. Same with texting or calls, if someone says they will text or call me, I fully expect it to not happen, just a defense mechanism to prevent from getting disappointed and hurt.

[Betty1Boop]

Originally Posted by 15LRC

Oh you're fine, and yes I will check that site up right now, thanks! What is your username on the site?

It's a "meet people in real life type site," not chat. There are many different kinds of groups that actually meet. Some are lectures, some dinner groups, moviegoers, book clubs, hikers, cyclists, skeptics, etc. you tell the search engine what your interests are and it shows groups that use those as tags. Some of the activities allow lots of interaction--others let you keep to yourself if you like. I use my real identity there.

Originally Posted by Betty1Boop

It's a "meet people in real life type site," not chat. There are many different kinds of groups that actually meet. Some are lectures, some dinner groups, moviegoers, book clubs, hikers, cyclists, skeptics, etc. you tell the search engine what your interests are and it shows groups that use those as tags. Some of the activities allow lots of interaction--others let you keep to yourself if you like. I use my real identity there.

Oh that's cool.

[jennifersullivan]

Originally Posted by PlatinumHeart

Hi there!

Sometimes its hard to deal with. Getting involved in clubs and activities you like can attract more people. These people you are trying to befriend probably have their own crap going on, so its really probably not you.

I personally don't have many friends only because I isolate myself. I wish I was more outgoing and would reach out to people more.

It really isn't you, I don't think.

platinumheart:

I really think you are correct our diagnoses are so stereotyped that its hard to make real connections in the outside world. I often isolate myself through a masquerade mask only because I am terrified of the adverse reactions I may get and it consumes me. Once a guy just looked at my face and he knew That I looked nuts. That's why I think its easier just to spend my time in the therapists office than going to a social club meeting. Unless its going to dinner because I feel that dinner is very important. I go out with my ***** every weekend to Mexican chain restaurants enchiladas y tequila shots ay ay si si ayebra ayebra !!