I feel so stupid!!!

Hi all, I have a bit of a dilemma...6 months ago I came out of a four year relationship that wasn't great. I have a son through a rape he's four now. I am currently living on my own with my son and allthough it can be great it is sometimes a bit boring, I'm 25 and although I have lived a lot i still want to live a lot more. At the moment I've been only concentrating on my own mental heath as I recently 'crashed' and also concentrating on my son who has severe language delay and is on the autism spectrum. The other day I was at a bus stop and a guy in a car asked me if i wanted a lift. First I said no, no thanks then something inside me switched and I thought what the hell! So he gave me a lift and we swapped numbers. Today he invited me out I said well I have my son and no babysitter but okay. It was like I just wanted to pretend to live in the normal world again than my own safe little bubble that my son and i now have. We had lunch, it was quite boring to be honest and I don't fancy him the least plus he's a little older than me. I am so not looking for a relationship at all I want it to be just me and my son and although nothing happened only lunch I feel I shouldn't have gotten involved. I didn't think ahead, that he might want to see me again, which he did! Now i'm regretting the whole thing and feel bad that I even brought my son along I don't think it was right or fair on him although i don't exactly know why. Then there's the other thing I lied so much! I lied about my son's father said he had moved out the country, that he was english etc etc I couldn't say it was through rape. I gave the excuse that I'm on antibiotics instead of antidepressants and antipsychotics and therefor cannot drink, so he asked when the course is finished so he wants to meet me for a drink after ten days too! But I can't drink on my meds. So many lies and I'm crap at lying I hate it. I realised this was harder than i thought and that I really shouldn't have gotten involved WHY did I do this utter stupidity and how the hell do i get rid of him?!?! In fact after lunch today on the way home he waanted to see me again tonight already!!! What do I do cos he clearly wants to see me again. Is it possible just to have a friendship? I don't know!! I just all of this didnt happen i dont know why i did any of this it's not me at all! and i am not interested in him at all. I feel terrible!!!! I don't know why i did it?

Of course a man and woman can be just friends, but that's only if its all both parties want.

Please don't feel bad about lying regarding your son's paternity and your meds This man is a complete stranger and therefore isn't privy to such private truths.

You weren't stupid, so please stop beating yourself up! You wanted some company and took a chance...

If you're not interested in spending more time with him, then just text him and be as honest as possible. Tell him you're not looking to date right now and you really didn't mean to lead him on by having lunch with him, you were just looking to make some new friends. No need to keep him hanging on if he's clearly interested in more than friendship.

I'm not sure if I responded in a way that was helpful, but I'm here if you want to talk some more.

Thank you Trippin! Your reply was simply just perfect and it's exactly what I'm gonna do now that I (almost) stopped beating myself up and thought about it logically a little lol.. Thanx again!

You're most welcome