[moe2584]

I'm dealing with an issue that I feel so lost. I love my boyfriend beyond words yet I hate him from keeping the fact that he found out he has a child from a woman he slept with before him and I ever met. In late September of last year he found out about her and kept that from me for two and a half months. He didn't know she was pregnant because they didn't talk after their one night stand. I'm not upset that he has a child because mistakes happen like that and sometimes woman like her keep that a secret for their own selfish reasons. What I am upset about is he kept that from me. Now I don't trust him and think that him and her will try to work things out for their child. I feel insecure, lost, confused, and disappointed. I feel this way only when he has to go visit his little girl. It angers me. Him and I live together and were starting a future together and now I'm not so sure about that. He is honestly though I fantastic man he treats me like I've always wanted to be treat (minus the not telling me part) but before he found out he was a dad him and I had a great relationship and I fell in love with him.

[Confusedinomicon]

It was a one night stand before you guys met. He probably didn't think it was significant nor did he believe he was intentionally trying to get her pregnant. He barely knows her so there wouldn't isn't really a foundation for their relationship to flourish. I think you have to look at his actions and if his behavior changed. He sounds like he is good to you.

[RichardBrooks]

Originally Posted by moe2584

He didn't know she was pregnant because they didn't talk after their one night stand. ... Him and I live together and were starting a future together...

He found out he had a child from a one night stand that happened before met someone worth sharing his future with. Maybe he didn't tell you right away because he didn't know how. Or he didn't want to lose you over something that happened before he met you. Or he felt guilty. Or this is not the way he pictured starting a family, and he had to process that. Or because his plans for the future now have to involve his child, and that changes everything for him -- and for you if you two are going to have a future together. No matter the circumstances that brought it about, he is a father. That is going to be a fundamental part of who he is for the rest of his life. If you want a future with him, you need to not just accept that but embrace it, because his daughter is going to be part of that future.

[avlady]

i agree with richard brooks, you must accept it as it will follow him the rest of his life.

[NWgirl2013]

If your lives are completely separate from this lady & her child otherwise, I would just accept it as a part of him.

If he shows love & affection to this child, that is a good sign. His child will grow up from the start knowing that parents don't always live together. The important part is, this child is lucky in that s/he has two parents who care. If he had turned his back on this child, then I would be more concerned about his character...IMHO. It says a lot about the kind of man he is.

Support him in this. He will appreciate you so much more if you do.