[the lone wolf]

"A wolf caught in a trap will chew off its own leg just to survive." Not only is this actually true, but it sends an important message. It means that in order to move forward you need to cut away whatever is holding you back. This can mean ending friendships, dropping out of school, quitting a job, etc.

For me this has been happening more and more lately. I've ended so many friendships lately just to protect myself from anything that can hurt me, but now im alone. I pretty much have no more friends now. I just wish that I can find friends that i can count on to be there for me.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by the lone wolf

I've ended so many friendships lately just to protect myself from anything that can hurt me...

Question regarding the quoted and bolded part: All these people you've written off, were they people who continually hurt you, or people with the ability/potential to hurt you?

I've spent some time completely isolated, about 2 years if menory serves me correct. Its not a pretty place to be when you intrinsically value close relationships, so I hear what you are saying on every level.

[the lone wolf]

have hurt me, and have the potential to hurt me more.

[Trippin2.0]

You're not being very specific so I'll just be all over the place and hopefully somehow make helpful sense.

Thing is everyone is gonna hurt us in some way at some point, its not completely avoidable. But obviously there are certain types of hurt caused by very specific types of people (example betrayal) who are best avoided.

The simple fact and act of caring makes us vulnerable, which unfortunately means we then have the ability to hurt, and the people we care about have the potential to cause said hurt.

That's why forgiveness was invented, nobody is without fault and ideally nobody is beyond redemption.

We need to be very picky and choose which people are worth it though.

I say the following because you haven't elaborated on anything:

For me, (and I hope for you) I NOW write people off if they repeatedly hurt me. Like why say sorry if you're gonna screw me over in the very same way tomorrow? You suck and I'm a sucker... no win situation.

But if its someone who made a mistake (as naturally I have too) then I wouldn't just write them off first time.

I hope you use a similar type of method to weed out the rotten apples.

It sucks to be completely isolated. For me, I made a mistake in those 2 years, I wrote off people who didn't deserve to be discarded like yesterday's news. So I mended the fences and rebuilt bridges where I deemed neccessary.

If your weeding has really left you with nothing but discarded rotten apples then I urge you to take a look at what drew you to them in the first place. After you've done so, it would be wise to then examine what types of people would make for better friends, and then set out to find them and cultivate frienships with them.

[marmaduke]

Sometimes it is necessary to move on from certain situations, could be work, friends or even family if they are toxic to your well being.
New friends take time to make, to trust. Patience is important.
I'm shy so making friends is not easy. I also assume people won't like me, or will find me boring.
Now I practice positive affirmations when meeting new people, like, repeating;
I like them and they like me, over and over again, to reduce my anxiety.
And, in time it works!

[the lone wolf]

they've betrayed me, abandoned me and belittle me. I do things based on what would be best for everyone, but they only worry about themselves. I'm tired of it, tired of caring for people who don't have the decency to show the same amount of care. They throw my mistakes in my face constantly just to get a good laugh and it makes me feel like trash.

we've all known each other since high school and we were friends, but i guess now that I'm getting older i realize that these people aren't good for me.

[avlady]

ive come to realise, i am the only one that has to take care of me first,as if i'm broken, like i am, i have to get help myself first, as ive been in alot of dead end realtionships mostly because of my mental health issues. it sometims scares me to meet new people, even going out of the house scares me, i think im agoriphobic, only because of seizures, etc...and the mental health issues. It is very difficult when we do have mental health issues, Ive been hurt too before by several so called friends, i have nothing to do with them anymore after being betrayed several times before. I also wish i did have more friends but my disability hinders that too. I have a communication problem, anxiety disorders and several other diagnosis. I am schitzoaffective and that also keeps me from socialising.

[Koko2]

Sometimes we need to be the lone wolf, but friends can be nice to have.

[Ashima]

Originally Posted by the lone wolf

"A wolf caught in a trap will chew off its own leg just to survive." Not only is this actually true, but it sends an important message. It means that in order to move forward you need to cut away whatever is holding you back. This can mean ending friendships, dropping out of school, quitting a job, etc.

For me this has been happening more and more lately. I've ended so many friendships lately just to protect myself from anything that can hurt me, but now im alone. I pretty much have no more friends now. I just wish that I can find friends that i can count on to be there for me.

I have almost no friends at this point in my life either. It's extremely lonely. I feel for you. My solution will be to move soon and find a place where there are more people. It's the only way I can cope is to have that to look forward to. Perhaps you can create a vision of a future you'd like to have and start taking steps to make it happen. I'd like to someday live in San Francisco, for instance, so this summer, if I can find a really cheap flight I am going there and going to bang on some doors of places that might employ me. I can't move anywhere without knowing I have somewhat secure employment. I did this last summer and it worked. I now have a gig connected with that city. On days I'm depressed, nothing lifts my spirits, but being with a good friend, so I hope you make some friends soon. Are you young? Do you live around a lot of people? You'll meet people soon enough and look back at this phase and try to forget it!