[elianahope]

January 2014 has now rolled around and things aren’t much better since the previous year. A few weeks ago I was approved for Social Security and I have a nonprofit organization as my payee. Dorothy has already been paid $1,200 for me to stay here and I found out that she has been talking to the guy that lives here also about how I am behind on rent. He is a registered sex offender for child porn and is really controlling. Lately, he has been trying to control me. I’m not going to tolerate that. Dorothy has known him since he was 3 years old. He molested his adopted daughter when she was 5 years old and then blames her and says she is lying. That really pisses me off. He isn’t involved in his kids’ lives much and I hear him on the phone once in a while trying to tell his daughters what to do. He doesn’t even deserve a title as a father. Dorothy is so oblivious to his behavior and it seems like she is in denial or makes up excuses for him. A few weeks ago he was telling me about how I owe Dorothy and I was telling him how it wasn’t any of his business. We were in the van and that’s his favorite place to tell me what to do. About how I need to pay Dot, I need to get my license, how to handle my cat, that he should be my payee, what I should do with my money, getting into my personal business about how much I’m getting every month, etc. It’s extremely annoying that he feels like he has that power over me. I try and ignore Chris because lately pretty much when he talks to me, it’s all about what I should be doing and how I should be doing it. Yesterday, January 17th, 2014, my sister, Kristal, and I were in the bedroom. Chris came out of the shower and was trying to control the situation about the money thing and my cat once again. I texted him using a skill called DEAR MAN. Completely ignoring me, he texted back saying about taking care of my responsibility with getting the money. Also, I’ve been trying to call my payee, but the one payee was on vacation last week. It’s not like I am not paying her. I texted back telling him that I have been calling my payee and it’s not any of his business. Then, he starts stomping up the stairs right before I send a text saying that maybe he should have taken responsibility and been a father to his adopted kids. He was in prison instead. Chris tries coming in my room, so I slam the door. He starts screaming so I open it and yell about he molested his 5 year old daughter and how he lies and says she is the one who is lying. By his behavior, I know for a fact that his daughter isn’t lying and I think it’s worse than she makes it out to be. Kristal comes out and tells them that she is leaving and tries to stick up for me. Right now, Kristal can’t work because she hurt her back at work; she’s a nurse, so I said that I would pay a couple hundred extra for her to stay here. I feel extremely bad because I wanted to help her so she would not be so stressed, but it made it worse. Today, Kristal explained to Dot that we both walked up to Olhsa a few days ago and the lady told us that she is behind because the other payee is on vacation. Dot had the audacity to say that I shouldn’t have gotten Chris involved in it. No, that was her who got him involved and this entire thing could have been avoided if she would’ve talked to me instead of complaining about me behind my back. I realize that I should’ve communicated better to her also. About a week ago, I told her that I have been calling Olhsa and leaving messages. It hurts really badly because it seems like the places I go, the people are really negative and I don’t handle it the best that I should. I’m really fed up with it and exhausted. Kristal left for Missouri and she called me about 20 minutes ago saying that she got a speeding ticket and wishes she was never born. She is under a lot of stress and isn’t as fortunate as I am to have money coming in and insurance. Kristal can’t really work much because of her back, she’s engaged, lost her job, her home, some of her friends, she’s moving to Missouri permanently in March. So, Kristal and I both are dealing with a lot right now and I really wanted to help her so she wouldn’t be stressed because she already has enough that she is dealing with. Right now, I am looking for a place for my cat and I to go and texting Kristal every few minutes to make sure she is doing ok. Life is difficult and I’m finding this out more and more. I can’t handle another year like 2013 and I’m standing my ground this time. Hopefully things change around for the better, including myself and quick.

[Rose3]

Sounds like things are kind of overwhelming right now. Keep in mind that Kristal has her own inner resources too, so maybe ask yourself if it is necessary for you to be texting her every few minutes? It's nice that you want to help her and that you keep in touch with her.
About the man (Chris) - maybe consider if it is helpful or not for you to say anything to him about his past? When you say things to him, perhaps this sounds like criticism, and he then might react to this. I would try to keep more distance from him. And stick to your explanation that your business is your business (it is not for him to get involved). Hopefully Dot will stop talking about you (to him) - so let her know that this is inappropriate.

[elianahope]

Kristal is my sister and I avoid Chris. When she said that she wants to crash her car and she wishes she was never born, yes, I'm going to check up on her frequently. I said stuff because he came stomping up the stairs screaming at me. That was the 1st time I talked about his past to him. I used the skill DEAR MAN and that is suppose to help the situation, but sometimes it doesn't work and that is when I need to come up with other ways. I was at fault too for screaming that stuff. Things got out of hand. Fortunately, I'm moving

[elianahope]

My profile picture is of Kristal and I actually

[Rose3]

"I said stuff because he came stomping up the stairs screaming at me. That was the 1st time I talked about his past to him. I used the skill DEAR MAN and that is suppose to help the situation, but sometimes it doesn't work and that is when I need to come up with other ways. I was at fault too for screaming that stuff. Things got out of hand."

In order to avoid escalation of a tense situation, if you hear him coming - maybe a better idea to just keep distance without much participation (safer for you is what I mean, because he sounds very tense).

[elianahope]

Yeah, I for sure could've handled it differently. Thank you for your advice. I really appreciate it I hope you are doing well.

Infuriating! How dare Chris! Geez! Get the beam out of your own eye before you go picking at the presumed speck in someone else's. I hate that myself beloved. Hopefully your sister can see through the crap and you can catch a break from this jerk.