How do we make friends?

I don't have friends. I was happy with my bf and we had our little family, our own world, so once it was over I realized that I have nobody to talk to or have fun with. I started desperately looking for friends, I was asking girls from work to go out and do something, we did few times and that was all.. There was one girl, I thought we get along really well but she had to change job, I was texting her almost every day, she was always busy doing something, at least once a week I text her and she seems to be happy to hear from me, but i am always the one who is trying to ask her out and see her, she always says "some time definitely, I am not sure when I will be off", and never gets back to me.. i got tired and just stopped contacting her because it was always me trying to get her attention and I got rejected so many times.. just every person seems to have their own life and company and I don't know how to get in there, I am friendly and nice and ppl seem to like me but why can't I make friends??? There must be something wrong with me even tho I do my best trying to opened.

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First - try not to feel desperate as you look for friends. Instead, use your time - for activities that you find rewarding or interesting. During some of these, perhaps you will meet other people who share some interests with you, and maybe you can connect with them. Plan some things that could include others - maybe have a dinner or party at your place; or plan an outing to theatre or music; or join some classes or activities where there would be opportunity to meet other people (study languages - people can talk together as they learn the language). Many ways to meet people.

I am doing yoga and also fitness.. so far no friends there.. i wanted to start learning french, so something might change. Ant make a party at my place coz don't have my place atm. Thank you for the advice

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Or volunteer activities - for some meaningful human contacts.

Will try Irish weather puts me in a bad mood but i will try. I can't be alone.

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Hi, I've had similar issues before. Sometimes you have to wait for other people to get back to you when they can, and if they don't reciprocate in a timely manner, then it's time to move on. Don't take things to personally as a) some people are just flaky to begin with, and b) some people are to busy to go out as often as you, and c) perhaps they don't want anymore friends in their life since they have enough. Or d) they don't think that they have enough in common with you to make being your friend worth their time before even getting to know you.

Making friends as you get older is HARD! Try talking to other people and forget about that woman. It sounds as if she's trying to politely tell you that she is not interested in hanging out with you despite what she says. Always remember, ACTIONS speak louder than words! A lot of people say stuff that they don't mean such as call me, or let's do lunch sometime, but they don't usually mean it most of the time. Some people don't know how to be direct. A nice to meet you would suffice, but like I said, some people just don't know how to let the other person down easy.

There is this site that you should look into that's free to join. You can even start your own group if you like. If you start your own group, it will cost you a monthly fee. It's called meetup.com. I met a few nice women on there, and I'm shy! If you're not that shy, you'll be able to meet lots of people on there, or at least groups that you can go out with to the movies, out to eat with, etc...

Thank you, I never tried any of those online groups coz I would never think that I'm gonna need them, I am shy too but I am opened.. i guess I am going to try something otherwise being alone right now is going to make me even more depressed. And you are right, I asked once, twice, I don't want to force people.

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Everyone has some really good advice here! A French class sounds like a great way to meet people since you can get together to practice speaking or to watch French movies.

I've found with yoga classes that people tend to be very inward-focused, so there usually wasn't much interaction afterwards.

I think it can be very hard finding a good fit for a friend. I would join a larger group of some sort; as you see, you did find someone at work, too bad she left. I would take a class, volunteer, or join a social/hobby-type group that also is about an interest of yours. I made a lifelong friend volunteering with my library group, for example. When whatever one is part of ends, like work or a group, it is often hard to keep those friends because people or ourselves do move, etc. I have a friend like your work one and we have been saying, "definitely soon" for a long time but I still have not made that happen, gotten over to see her, etc.

I do not have any problem with "desperately" wanting to find friends but use that to judge how much I really want to work to be friends with that person? I really want to see the friend above, and know her well enough to know she will respond if we make a date and meet halfway, etc. But if someone does not contact me I think about how much I really want to get together with them? Like with this friend I know I do want to get together with (this Spring for sure, I'm going on vacation the whole month of February :-) if I really really wanted this, I would have made it happen sooner? Sometimes it's easy to decide the other person does not want to see us and feel alone/lonely but it is really about what we want. I can make a meeting happen if I want and I want. If a person does not set a date with you, won't "show up" that is different but we cannot really expect a person to work hard wanting to get to us as we do wanting to get to them when it is us wanting to get to them.

Usually girls my age have many friends so I don't understand why I can't have any. I was feeling myself like if I was already married and my bf is like my husband. . So we had our little family and it was since I was 18. I'm 21 now and if I want to find friends it is like I need to get another full time job, with all the classes and volunteering.. i want to do it but I'm just saying that it makes me feel bad about myself that I need to do all this to meet someone.

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check out meetup.com and look for activities/interests in your area. I have joined a mommy group to try to meet people. It helps.

Thanks I was looking at yesterday, don't know why but I was always trying to avoid those websites

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