I would like thoughts upon this situation with my brothers

Today my brother had said "you *****" as a joke. I told him back "I didn't appreciate it"; calmly. He said it was a joke I told him back I understand that, though I didn't like it. I was not yelling. Then in a louder voice he had said that you get offended easily by us and that is why we tease you. I had asked them for examples and which they gave me a situation in the past where I got upset because they had invited me a long to go Christmas shopping then had me drive, I didn't find that right. I had explained that in the ride later because I wasn't talking much because I knew I might explode. They don't seem to understand that and get upset over that. Then my other brother was trying to say something to me I didn't understand so I asked and he said nevermind in a loud tone. I said no I would like to hear it and he said no you probably would get offended. I said no I want to hear. He said nevermind.

I do not like their excessive cursing. I find it inappropriate and immature. I had told them before that I didn't like it. Instead they made fun of me. <-- This is why I told them I didn't appreciate their joke; though I didn't explain and that would of helped. I am going to say that to them later and tell them that is why I didn't like the joke last time.

I am not quite sure what to say to them though. I will come up with something eventually; though if I wait much longer I feel I could blow up in front of them and that would be terrible. At the same time are they going to understand; I can see them getting angry because of me not liking something they do? Because otherwise I don't want to be around them much at all due to the cursing. I would like others thoughts.

I feel like they have too much drama and don't realize that they are reflecting upon themselves and are saying that it is me that is the issue. They both get angry quite often and complain. I get irritated by it and don't hangout much with them anymore because of it. I don't believe complaining about others gets you anywhere. Speak to the person or realize you can not do something about certain situations. "Everybody has a right to have negative feelings but I don't think there is ever a right to manipulate."

I have so much on my mind from this. I am wondering too much about their thoughts. Because I admit I was worse when I was younger. And maybe they are looking in the past too; which isn't right.

You can ask people how to treat you but you can't control what they do with your request. I am sorry to hear your brothers are not more respectful to you but I applaud your saying how you feel. In time, if you politely stand your ground, I bet they will see you as someone they respect (they probably already do ...) and quit their antics.

Yes, thanks!

I understand you aren't the one who can change others because otherwise if you try too hard you become just like the one you didn't want to be. You become controlling and manipulative. Though what I have learned in assertiveness is setting boundaries at best you can; if not then at least compromise. Which I can ask them to not do it too much around me. Maybe if that happens they will realize it isn't good because cursing excessively does hurt you. It hurts your mind and the respect that you receive from others.

Does anyone have any other thoughts on this topic?

I'm guessing that your brothers are rather young? If so, perhaps this behavior is something they will grow out of. You've let them know how you feel about it, but I am not sure what else you can do. Until they choose to stop the behavior, your choice is to either live with it or stop spending time with them, right?

I think at this point, it would be the most effective to just completely ignore them. As long as they're going to get a "rise" out of you, they're probably going to continue. And that might even include reminding them that you don't like what they're doing. It's not that they don't know at this point what bothers you. They seem to just be waiting for you to complain just so they can make fun of you about it. Just ignore them completely and try to not let them see you upset. They should get bored of it soon enough.

I don't know how old your brothers are but they are just acting like immature boys. They are treating you like one of the guys. I would just ignore them. Hopefully they will outgrow it.

They aren't as young as you think. Though all I has said I don't like the cursing; not what I think of it. Which I will speak to them in the future about it more.

I choose to not react because anyone who is aggressive likes seeing it happen. I hardly complain to them. Most of the time I walk away when they get too excessive and do my own stuff. I know they still need help themselves and maybe there is a little jealousy.

I'm still planning on telling them my thoughts and my suggestion and if they choose to not accept that then I will not spend much time around them because they are they and I am me.

Thanks for the comments.

I'd like to offer a different opinion on this--hopefully you will not take offense.

First, I may be like you in that I never curse and it does make me cringe when I hear someone cursing quite a bit (though the occasional swear doesn't bother me too much).
My husband grew up where his version of 'shoot' was just what they said. In his mind, it's no different whether the word is a swear or the word 'fudge,' for example. From your description, it does sound like your brothers have taken things to another level, though.

Having said that, my first reaction to your post was that you were being extremely judgemental and that you consider yourself much better than your brothers. Even though I don't know you or your brothers, I was offended. Why? Well, I've been in many situations with people from all over the world. It is so easy to develop prejudices against people based on how they talk. Yes, I know this is different than cursing, but when I hear someone cursing a lot, I wonder what sort of background they must have come from--it's not fair of me to think this way.

So, my advice, if you want it? Accept your brothers for who they are. They obviously like to try to bother you, so don't let them. If you spend more time laughing with them then trying to note every swear word they use, it will be easier to ignore the actual words they use. Love them for who they are. Joke with them using your own words.

Of course, if you don't like your brothers, the easier solution is to not spend time with them. I don't know if this is the case.

Sorry if this is a bit negative, but I thought another opinion might be valuable.

No, I am not better than anyone. My brothers can be really negative.

Yes, my brothers are them and I am I. I am not for excessive cursing and I love my brothers dearly. Though since it bothers me I cannot be around them much due to that.

I don't take things personally because what others say are due to them and if it's true then why get upset.

Also the way people speak can come from the background that person had came from. Or they think it is cool or it could be a habit from influence. There isn't anything wrong with think that as long as you aren't assuming.

I don't know if you had read any of my comments back to others on this post and I didn't take offense. I asked for opinions.

EZoo, I have to say I cannot agree with your outlook. True ,different people have different viewpoints as to how to act. But, society has a certain standard of politeness that most people try to meet. Swearing and calling people names is not socially acceptable. It shows disrespect for the person they are talking to regardless of whether the person feels superior to them or not.

I do not think I am superior to anyone yet I am uncomforable when I hear todays youth useing the F word and other harsh language while they are talking in loud voices in public. I do not like that language and I do not think it is necessary. In fact, it is a sign of a poor vocabulary if they cannot think of a more appropriate word. Just because someone decides to act a certain way does not mean it is OK and everyone should accept it. What would happen if people suddenly decided it was OK to pee on the sidewalk? Look what happened in Germany when the population decided to ignore Hitler's antisemitism.