How to take the first step...

I feel so alone and heartbroken. So my ex, who is also my first love, came back into my life after not talking for 2 years. We broke up because he cheated on me and I didn't even found out until after, when a friend told me and then I found out that he even changed his number after we agreed to be friends. I was reluctant to talk to him when he contacted me but we did and I guess he was feeling so depressed because that girl broke up with him. I comforted him over the summer and we had some great conversations because he didn't have many friends and I guess he trusted me but I think that those feelings started coming back around that time too. We were in different states so that made it hard for me to determine what his intentions were because he started to not talk to me as a friend, but as a girlfriend. When I went to visit in the fall, I lost my virginity to him but he took such good care of me that I felt it was the right choice. However, after I left, he did not talk to me as often as before as he started to find friends in the young adult group at church because over the summer he started going to church to better himself as a person. I went back to visit in Thanksgiving and Christmas time, and he really wanted to hang out with me and his newfound friends. His friends think that we are a couple because of how we were always together but he would just play it off. Now he doesn't even contact me at all and if he does, he rarely tells me anything. I just feel stupid for being so easy and for letting my emotions get to where they are now. This has affected my school work and I feel myself getting depressed about it. It was just nice to feel wanted and now that he doesn't need me and used me for whatever his intentions were, I find myself getting angry and bitter about the situation. I would like to still be friends eventually, but I don't know what to do to be able to forgive and let go of all this anger and sadness I have built up inside of me. I feel taken advantage of and makes me feel like all guys are like this...

...wait until you are ready to forgive him.

A tiger doesn't change it's stripes. If he left you once it's not surprising he did it again. You aren't a fool or stupid. You are learning how to live and we all have sad stories but don't let that define you. I wouldn't put any stock in this fellow. Move on. You are too sweet to be treated like this. This is not what love is like. Chalk it up as a learning experience and know you are too good for him. Really.

Thank you so much...those words really do mean a lot. I don't have a lot of experience in the love department but I was thinking that this is not how love should be like. I'll try to not let it define me and I have to know how to take the first step which is to cut off all contact, which will be hard but I know its for my own benefit because its causing more pain and heartache than happiness.