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#1
Jan 26, 2014, 10:58 AM
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I'm the only one working.. And part time unfortunately.. My partner has been out of work for three months.. I'm in early stages of foreclosure because we fell behind on my mortgage. I have no family support as my family turned their back on me because of my inability to keep my head above water.. I support his two boys when they are here 4 days a week.. I'm running around trying to seek help with keeping my home.. And it's all too much for me.. I see a counselor at a church that a friend referred me to.. Not sure it's helping.. My home is the only thing I ever had in my life and I can't lose it.. I'm trying to get full time or another part time job in addition to what I have.. BF is struggling to find any work and it's killing me.. He can't understand why I don't want to have set.. And it's causing us to become distant and angry.. He feels I need to relax and enjoy things.. When how can I?
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 kaliope
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#2
Jan 26, 2014, 11:39 AM
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Sounds like you have a lot on your mind. Hopefully you'll find the job(s) that will help financially. And hopefully your partner will find his job too. Does he maybe want closeness? Is it possible to explain to him that you have some current concerns that affect your ability to relax completely right now? Is it possible to try to plan for some things that the two of you might like to do together? Will the counselor be willing to meet with you and your partner, to assist with sorting things out?
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#3
Jan 26, 2014, 01:11 PM
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Maybe he is right.
With so much stress in life we often forget we need to breathe. You are under a lot of pressure but maybe you need to take some time out. Just a day when its you two together and enjoy being together. Sex drive often dries away when life is stressful; mostly in women - but maybe it could help you two as a couple. Men never understand...
__________________
I will find a way, build another world beyond the pain.
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#4
Jan 26, 2014, 01:40 PM
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you do have a lot of stressors on your plate and he does not seem to appreciate that. while he does have a point, it is a little hard to do when you have the world on your shoulders. it is a good idea to see if he will go to counseling with you to understand your point of view. take care
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#5
Jan 26, 2014, 02:22 PM
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You need to remove the stressor from your plate. Can you file for Chapter 11 to stave off the foreclosure? If you don't have a ton of equity in the house, I think you can "homestead it" and not lose it. Can you call legal aid or someone who may let you know your options for free? I hope so. Good luck!
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#6
Jan 26, 2014, 02:23 PM
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Yes in fact I recommended counseling for him also due to so me issues he has with feelings for his X wife and drinking....I know the counselor will see us together but I feel he needs to get some help for himself as well. But he has no interest.
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#7
Jan 26, 2014, 02:28 PM
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I have explained to him and actually had a breakdown last weekend when we had no money that I cant keep doing this...I am so stressed out and he keeps telling me its all going to be ok but I see no forward motion being made. Hes angry because we don't have sex, and can't understand why I am stressed because as far as he is concerened its all going to be ok...I will stop stressing when things are taken care of...I will stop stressing when I know I am NOT going to loose my house...until then I cant go every day with a happy smile knowing I might not have a place to live come spring...
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#8
Jan 26, 2014, 04:00 PM
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as a last resort will try for 13 as that way I get to keep my house...but I have such a large amount of bad debt from after my divorce I am not sure I can afford the payments for Chapter 13 unless they can just count my mortgage arears...
I am working with Neighborhood Legal Services and Action Housing but it all comes down to coming up with the money to pay off the amount I have fallen behind...and I don't have it.. Quote:
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