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Old Jan 28, 2014, 04:02 AM
ani86's Avatar
ani86 ani86 is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2010
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 19
I am in an extremely confusing and horrible position.
My partner and I have been together for 2 1/2 years.
We constantly, constantly fight.
We have insanely good chemistry and we are very very comfortable with each other but we clash on a LOT of issues.
We have a lot of different morals. I come from a catholic household (even though I consider myself agnostic now) but I was brought up with Christian values. He was brought up in an aethiest household.
We are so so so different.
When we are going well, it's fabulous. We have so much fun together and we honestly do love each other a lot.
I have suffered severe depression in my past. I have been hospitalised for major depression three times but I have been in remission for three years. I now do speeches in high schools across sydney for mental health forums - helping young people who battle depression.
I consider myself a very happy, positive person.
My partner went through all my stuff with me. He has seen me at my worse.
We broke up briefly because he couldn't handle it.

The tables have now turned. I am happy and positive about my life, and he is utterly unhappy about his work and his health etc.
He is dragging me down. He acknowledges this but is just so angry about everything.
That's another thing - his anger.
He gets so angry SO quickly and is so negative about EVERYTHING.
It is so hard for me to stay afloat.
I try to help him but he is a procrastinator and he is stuck in a rut.
I'm not sure how much more I can take.
I can see us soaring if he just got better within himself..

I don't know what to do.
I am devastated by this.

Any advice would be great

xox
__________________
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High


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  #2  
Old Jan 28, 2014, 04:29 AM
Bobafeta Bobafeta is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: Austin
Posts: 4
Sounds just like my relationship. We're opposites but love being together, great chemistry but he's Christian and I'm... Just not. My man is stuck in a rut too and I know once he's better we'll be better but we both keep saying we just have to make it there.

For me, I try to be positive toward his goals, say motivational things instead of nagging on him, but its hard when he loses his temper, sometimes I just snap too. I realize my man's anger comes from his own frustrations and isn't always about me. For him, I have agreed to give him space and let him try to get out of his rut without me so he can know he did it on his own.

We're not breaking up but giving a week off (we live together and he's going to visit family) so he can focus on himself without worrying about me. Some men just don't want help, they want to feel like they can do it without you (which I hate, but he's big on pride).

We also fight terribly so the short break will hopefully reset us on why we fell for each other in the first place and remind him that he can move his life forward and doesn't "need me." I realize a short bit of time off might not work for you but a vacation with you or on his own might boost his energy and motivation?

My mother always said we fight passionately because we love passionately. I not know if its a good thing but at least we have passion in our lives.
  #3  
Old Jan 28, 2014, 09:56 PM
ani86's Avatar
ani86 ani86 is offline
Junior Member
 
Member Since: Aug 2010
Location: Sydney Australia
Posts: 19
Thank you so much for your reply.
Wow we do sound similar...
How long have u and your partner been together?

Do you think though that after awhile, all the fighting is damage done?
I sometimes feel like that...
There is so much ******** that I just don't know if it's something we CAN get past.
We are seeing a couples counseler as well but yeah....
things are so damn hard.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobafeta View Post
Sounds just like my relationship. We're opposites but love being together, great chemistry but he's Christian and I'm... Just not. My man is stuck in a rut too and I know once he's better we'll be better but we both keep saying we just have to make it there.

For me, I try to be positive toward his goals, say motivational things instead of nagging on him, but its hard when he loses his temper, sometimes I just snap too. I realize my man's anger comes from his own frustrations and isn't always about me. For him, I have agreed to give him space and let him try to get out of his rut without me so he can know he did it on his own.

We're not breaking up but giving a week off (we live together and he's going to visit family) so he can focus on himself without worrying about me. Some men just don't want help, they want to feel like they can do it without you (which I hate, but he's big on pride).

We also fight terribly so the short break will hopefully reset us on why we fell for each other in the first place and remind him that he can move his life forward and doesn't "need me." I realize a short bit of time off might not work for you but a vacation with you or on his own might boost his energy and motivation?

My mother always said we fight passionately because we love passionately. I not know if its a good thing but at least we have passion in our lives.
__________________
Disorder | Rating
Paranoid: High
Schizoid: Moderate
Schizotypal: Moderate
Antisocial: Low
Borderline: Very High
Histrionic: High
Narcissistic: High
Avoidant: High
Dependent: High
Obsessive-Compulsive: High

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