[kittensweater]

I was on snap chat one day looking at peoples best friends... not sure if your familiar with snap chat... it is a bit confusing. I was looking at a friends best friends and went to one of the friends best friends best friends... is that correct... well simply put I went back like three generations... i guess... of best friends. And some ones snap chat name caught my attention because it was so... silly... a bit ratchet actually. Me being a curious person I decided to snap them, and Im pretty decent looking so the boy kept snapping me back and I thought he was 12 so I never snapped him back. Until one day I was pretty lonely and I decided Ill figure out his age... and I wasn't really looking for a boyfriend... It turned out that he was 17 a senior at a Michigan high school... kind of like me but I am a junior and I don't go to a privet Catholic School. So we began talking. We became friends quickly, we started texting about three weeks after I found out his age. And then about a month passed before we started skyping. We skyped all night long some times, and I started sleeping better... I had someone I could talk to... someone who didn't know anything about my past, some one who would treat me as if I was normal. Im not completely stupid, I didn't hide my past from him. We talked about everything almost. And I began trusting and loving him.

And he said I love you back.

I have this glitch where I begin to think as an adult would, or I see things from different shoes... which isnt bad. But I think to myself, your 17 youve never met this boy... what the fudge am I doing... and then I start thinking things that make it harder on myself...

It wont last
We arnt really in a real relationship
We cant actually love each other
He has more girls probably

And on and on, doubting every bit of everything... and then my loneliness gets greater and greater... and its all my fault!

Self inflicted.

[cdnomore]

Ergh, yah, the craptastic world of online, it promises everything and gives nothing...you can't let yourself beleive yet, just let him show some character first before you go any further...what would be the purpose of anything else?
Are you just willing to be doing this forever? Putting off any kinds of relationships you COULD be having with someone who is right there with you instead of in the sort of unreal world of distance?

[Indie'sOK]

Take my advice. Please, please, please. Don't get into this sort of thing. I am also from Michigan and for awhile I was talking to a boy my age from Virginia. We talked for three months until one day he told me he met a new girl, and it literally felt like my entire world fell apart. I got wayyyyy too emotionally involved in this "relationship" and even now, over a year later, I find myself having conflicted feelings about it. I would literally give anything to go back and stop myself from getting involved in this situation, but that's impossible. It's just not worth it.

All those things you said, I felt all those. About never getting to meet, or that he probably has other girls. Those are all-too familiar.

I try to feel a little better about my past with each passing day.

[Splintercell]

It’s easy to get caught up in the “glitz and glamour” of internet dating but one should be careful not to get carried away. Far too often people are not who they say they are. They make us believe what they need us to believe. People will say anything to convince you what they want you to believe about them and that’s where the trouble starts.

You don’t really know him and nobody around you knows him either. You only have his word and over the internet its not watertight.

Hate to play devil's advocate here, but I married my "internet love". We did not take our relationship lightly. We talked every day and really got to know one another, but we did not actually pursue anything as a full out relationship until we actually met. We lived a nine hour train ride apart for many many years (and in different countries). The distance was heartbreaking. But we both knew we wanted to pursue the relationship and worked very hard to do so. He finally moved here to be with me and we lived together for several years. We probably wouldn't have married, as common law relationships are recognized and legal here, but there were some circumstances that came up so we jumped at the chance.

All of that said, we met in 1998 - very early in the age of internet "dating". Neither of us grew up with online communications, so we had enough experience with in person communications to help us. I tend to see people who have grown up with internet all their life as not taking an online friendship as seriously; yes, this is a generalization, but is quite consistently observed.

If you choose to pursue any sort of relationship with this boy, know that there is a possibility of being hurt. I mean, there's always a possibility of being hurt, but it's much easier to do the hurting when you're detached physically.

Snapchat is useful for sending images that you'd prefer aren't able to be kept by the recipient, but please remember to use discretion. Don't send images that you'd be embarassed if your parents or friends saw them - that's usually a pretty good guide.

Some final important advice: don't consider yourself in a full blown relationship unless you have met him, and don't meet him without a friend or two present. I can't tell how far apart you are in the state, so I don't know how possible this option is, but let's face it. If you can't get together to meet, then you certainly can't carry on a romantic relationship.

[healingme4me]

Frightened Rabbit,

You raise a valid point, about the need to 'meet' a person, before carrying on a romantic relationship.

I went against, the grain, in meeting my first online 'love', and flew solo. My bff, made me call her,,she'd 'hear it', in my voice, if any problem.

Otherwise, without meeting, it becomes 'fantasy.'

Best of luck...

Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2

Originally Posted by healingme4me

I went against, the grain, in meeting my first online 'love', and flew solo. My bff, made me call her,,she'd 'hear it', in my voice, if any problem.

I brought a friend with me to pick him up at the train station, and then we met with other friends to hang out. We didn't stay with the group for too long. In retrospect, that was a potentially very dumb move. But it turned out positively at least.

I guess the best advice is to go with your gut. If you feel like something isn't sitting right, get out of the situation.

[healingme4me]

To add, I've been communicating online for a little over 20 years'..
Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2

[Perna]

I do not know how you think the adult world works, but, hopefully, one gets experience when they are 17 that will help when they are 23, 37, 41, 55, etc. One does not meet someone, fall instantly in love and live happily ever after. It's like school where you have to do 1st grade, 2nd, 3rd, etc. in order and it may seem like you don't learn anything specific (think fast, what did you learn in 7th grade? :-) but you are learning incrementally? Social skills work that way too; I was just thinking yesterday of my grown nephew, he's in his 40s now I think, but when he was a toddler he would wake in the morning come down the steps and wish us a "Hi morning!" He had learned to greet people (Hi!) and was learning that when you wake you wish people a "Good morning" but hadn't quite got the "good" going yet?

Your Skype friendship is just as valid as any other. You are learning to share yourself with another and listen to them, etc., all good skills. Yes, you are 17 and it is not necessarily an "end" relationship that will last a long time or an in-person, dating practice relationship but it is definitely not worthless. Look what you have learned that is good just by articulating it here: you know you really like this guy but that a lot of what you see/know is in your head rather than playing out in reality (always good to keep track of your imagination, like with the, "he has more girls probably" and think about what such thoughts mean to and about you and what you might want to "do" with/about such thoughts) and that love is not an instant thing (that's attraction, not love) and you are learning how your mind works and now can think how you want to work with it. Unless you "see" and talk about these things, you cannot work with them one way or another, they just are there in your un/subconscious and cannot contribute and help move you forward in life.