[lesliebl123]

I have been with the same man since 2004. We met and several months after meeting My husband would try to start controlling everywhere I went, what i wear, where I am at a certain time. He would call me so many times on my way homefrom work and I would get so aggrevated. It was not until recently I discovered he had been dianosed with Bi=Polar Disorder,. I am actually afraid of him sometimes. He has kicked me in the back out of our bed because he did not like an answer I gave him. He sort of lives in his own fantasy world escaping from what is real and in denial of something being wrong with our relationship. When I made this discovery he was in full denial tha anything was wrong with him that it was always me. He always plays the victim and moreoften he is his own worst enenmy. I have asked him to get help several time and again denial. What should I do or suggest for him to do that I have not already suggested...

[kaliope]

hi leslie
it sounds like more than bipolar disorder is going on here. it sounds as if you are in an abusive relationship as well. those symptoms are not caused by bipolar. he needs anger management treatment as well. if he is in denial nothing you suggest is going to get him help. counseling for yourself, to determine how long you are willing to put up with his abuse would be helpful. you need to set boundaries with him and let him know you will not be treated that way. welcome to psych central. you will find that we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome.

[Marshellette]

The cycle of abuse= Tension builds, partners erupts in rageful outburst (physical or verbal), honeymoon period where he tries to make up for it, tension builds, partner erupts in rageful outburst and then repeats itself. Usually if the abuse has gone on for ten years it won't stop, I'm just saying. Though ultimately the decision over how you get treated is up to you.

[hamster-bamster]

I agree with the above and suggest you threaten him with the police, since there was that incident with physical violence. The police would not protect you from being tormented emotionally, but they will act on a report of domestic violence, so it would not be an empty threat to give him clear consequences - one more incident and the police will promptly come to your house.

[Rose76]

You might want to give serious thought to separating and possibly viewing this marriage as a mistake. I know that's an awful hard thing to even consider.

What has he got going on that makes you think he is worth being with? (You don't have to tell that to me, but ask yourself.)