[seeker1950]

Hi, all,
Not sure where to post this....I first thought of the "General" thread, but it really has to do with relationships...
I've realized I'm no longer a 'fixer" in terms of relationships.
I was raised to put my own needs aside to the needs of others...never having a voice. I realize this is/was why I married a man I didn't love from the start, though staying for 20 years, then ventured into several really bad dating relationships. After 9 years of singlehood, and at age 56 (OH, my, I know!), But, better late, than never, is how I feel about it.
I can now visualize myself telling these men...and shocking them with my assertiveness...."You're full of %#@&#!!" I just wish I had had this insight much sooner. It has taken me a long, long time to reach this stage. At the same time, just want to say, I am not bitter or disrespective of men. I know there are nice men out there. Now, however, I just don't have the desire or energy to find them.
Patty

[FaithisAlive]

I say HOORAY!!!! for your newfound assertivness... not an easy task when you have been the opposite all your life... i know.. i am working on it and I am 43....

i think you should find the energy and the desire to look one of those good guys out there.... so you can finally know what its like to be an equal partner in a relationship... you deserve it...

Wishing you the best...

[Perna]

It takes a long time! I did your opposite and waited until I was 39 to marry, "finally" found the right guy. But it's hard to put aside what one was taught growing up. I still have to struggle not to automatically give him the biggest piece of meat just because he's "the man." LOL He and I laugh at some of my odder urges left over from what it was like growing up in the 50's and 60's. But it can still be uncomfortable for me to go against some automatic stuff.

[Wants2Fly]

So glad you found your center and can be happy there. Good for you!

[seeker1950]

Thanks for all your supportive feedback! Y'all are sweeties!
LOve,
Patty