Got dumped once again!

hoping4best · May 22, 2011, 01:59 PM

All that talk about one day getting the love of my life its all ********. That aint gonna happen for me. Just when i wasnt expecting this to happen,the guy who supported me through my depressive phase lately, he has dumped me by saying that i can go to hell and that he is sick of me.

hoping4best · May 22, 2011, 02:01 PM

When will it ever end? Im so broken on the inside right now. The pain will never end,i think. No one will ever like me for who i am. I feel like a loser.

hoping4best · May 22, 2011, 02:03 PM

Please dont say that im a wonderful person. Because i know that im not. If i was,i wudnt let this happen to me over and over again.

palemoss · May 22, 2011, 02:23 PM

do you have friends with whom you can just sulk and drink wine with for 2 weeks? do that.

then try to keep yourself busy and meet other men

PaintTheRoses88 · May 23, 2011, 02:04 AM

I'm sorry you're going through this, jiakhan. Break-ups are horrible and being dumped is just...ugh...it can feel like the end of the world.

What I think you need to do is NOT focus on finding a man right now. I think what you need to do is work on loving and accepting yourself for who you are because you seem to be suffering from some really low self-esteem. Are you getting help in the form of therapy or medication or something for the depression? If you aren't, I strongly suggest you consider it because it sounds like you're in a dark place at the moment. I think it's imperative you focus on yourself before even thinking about trying to have a relationship. You don't need a man or a relationship to define you or make you a wonderful person. You can do that all on your own. Don't let your self-esteem become wrapped up in what some guy tells you. I know it's hard not to let that happen, but this guy who supposedly dumped you sounds like he did you a favor. Any man who tells you that you can go to hell sounds like a jerk who doesn't deserve your affection.

Do you have some close friends or relatives you could also confide in or vent to? It's going to be a rough few weeks. It always is following a break-up. Time will heal you, though. Just keep yourself busy. Get some exercise, work on coping with your stress and depression, read some good books, hang out with friends, and just keep taking it one day at a time. You say you keep letting this happen to you over and over again. Well, break the cycle and just swear off relationships for a little bit. Use this time to build up a healthy relationship with yourself and then, later, work on a romantic relationship. When you're in a healthy emotional place as an individual, you'll be in a much better position to finding and keeping the love of your life.

Best of luck to you!

Emotionally Dead · May 23, 2011, 03:36 AM

Very sorry you're going through this. Break ups are never easy. This person definitely wasn't the one for you though if he is sitting there saying all that terrible stuff about you... Sometimes I feel like I will never meet the right person, especially since the last two women I have been with have been one who had a pregnancy scare and then cheated on me and the last one being a regretted one night stand. So I have a pretty bitter taste in my mouth when it comes to relationships too, lol.

Wishing you all the best and that things get better and you DO find the right person.

hoping4best · May 25, 2011, 07:43 AM

This guy wasnt my bf but he DID feel me good. He helped me in coming out of despair and low self esteem. Atleast he tried to help. He had been too chummy most of the time and at times i really got irritated, but he was funny and caring.

hoping4best · May 25, 2011, 07:45 AM

I wasnt expecting to hear such harsh words from him. I cried my eyes out that night. I have started feeling that love and care is never meant for me.

PaintTheRoses88 · May 25, 2011, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiakhan

This guy wasnt my bf but he DID feel me good. He helped me in coming out of despair and low self esteem. Atleast he tried to help. He had been too chummy most of the time and at times i really got irritated, but he was funny and caring.

He helped you come out of despair and low self-esteem? I don't mean to sound harsh, but that may be part of the problem. Relying on others to make you feel good or banking your self-esteem on how others view you/make you feel. I know that it's impossible for anyone to avoid having at least part of their self-image dependent upon how others view them, but the vast majority of your self-image should come from yourself. As I said before, work on having the bulk of your positive self-image come from within. Don't rely on others to bring you happiness. This is not to say that other people can't make you happy, but your relationships should not be the "end all, be all" of happiness in your life. I would seriously recommend talking to a therapist about exercises and skills you could do to develop and improve your self-esteem.

In the meantime, don't let this guy continue to hurt you. Try to keep yourself busy and distracted so your thoughts don't stray to him so much. Let him go so you can heal and begin to love yourself. Don't let the way he has treated you make you think that love and care is not meant for you. The way he treated you had nothing to do WITH YOU. It sounds like he was just an ***hole, pardon the language. That doesn't reflect on you. You say he dumped you? Well, dump HIM from your thoughts and your life. I know it's not easy, but, with time, it will get easier.

hoping4best · May 26, 2011, 04:21 PM

PaintTheRoses88..... Yes, i used to talk to him whenever i became sad or upset bcoz of something. I know i shudnt have done so,but most of the time he insisted on knowing what was bothering me, and then gave suggestion and all.i have started seeing a therapist for my depression, i will see her again next week. I hope it will help.

PaintTheRoses88 · May 26, 2011, 06:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jiakhan

PaintTheRoses88..... Yes, i used to talk to him whenever i became sad or upset bcoz of something. I know i shudnt have done so,but most of the time he insisted on knowing what was bothering me, and then gave suggestion and all.i have started seeing a therapist for my depression, i will see her again next week. I hope it will help.

There's nothing wrong with turning to friends to help you through a rough time. You just shouldn't be overly reliant on others. It's great that you've started seeing a therapist. Hopefully she can help you develop skills and exercises to boost your mood and self-esteem. Then you won't need a guy to make you feel good.

Best of luck to you!

Belle1979 · May 26, 2011, 10:55 PM

Jia... how are you doing hun?

hoping4best · May 27, 2011, 08:17 AM

@belle.... Im doing ok now

i have started seeing a therapist along with medication for depression.

hoping4best · Feb 17, 2014, 02:10 PM

so, he has got married

he really did dump me when i posted this 2.5 years ago. and it didnt get better.

Smellyfinger · Feb 17, 2014, 02:20 PM

I'm sorry for your suffering. Think of it as time alone to work in yourself. Try to keep yourself happy while you don't have someone else to try to please.

At least it's more me-time right?

Edit: I just saw this is an old old thread lol oops

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Marshellette · Feb 17, 2014, 02:48 PM

Time to hit the bars and get your groove on.

Fuzzybear · Feb 17, 2014, 03:26 PM

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