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#1
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All I've learned is to keep all of my feelings for someone to myself, but have since also found out that I need to learn how to hide those feelings so the other person can't figure it out for themselves. Apparently it's all subconscious so I'm not sure how to learn to control it. I assume it's something similar to having a poker face. Apparently it's smiles that give you away. I don't want to never smile again, but unless I smile all the time, it's difficult to hide smiling at people you like.
And no, I don't want anyone to ever know I like them. If I did, I'd tell them. I don't want my subconscious to give me away because I can't help who I like. I've read articles, but they don't directly talk about the smiling part and I already do most of the other stuff. Maybe I'm too nice to them? Most of the time I can just avoid them, just in my current situation, I can't. I really don't want to have to find an entire new group of friends and start completely over again. Maybe I never should have reached out for friends in the first place. |
#2
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I don't think I'm very good at masking my emotions. Some people just aren't. I suppose it's a behaviour that can be learned, but not by everyone. If you can't learn, perhaps modifying the method of communication might be easier (e.g. not face to face, but letters, emails, texts, etc.).
Also...AXE COP. |
#3
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Maybe emotions was the wrong word…I care if someone knows if I'm mad or whatever. I just don't want people to know that I have a crush on them. That's how you lose friends quickly or at least strain good friendships. I just don't want anyone to know and I don't want to have to constantly change my group of friends every time I get a crush on someone. I mean, I wasn't going to say anything and just move on because that was the right thing to do. I can't even protect my friendships by not saying anything because apparently my body language gives it away. What do I have to do, just act like I just hate everyone all the time?
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#4
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Why do you have to find another group of friends, if you like someone. It should be a compliment.
You cannot control smiling, but maybe if you smile more often -it wouldn't be so obvious if it is someone you like. However, it's true -stifling emotions, find a way to come out in other ways, such as resentment. That is your subconcious at work. Seriously, it could get embarrasing if they don't feel the same- but it shouldn't be the end of the world. Also, could you not look outside your circle of friends to find someone who you could be into, externally? |
#5
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I'm too ashamed to be around anyone from that group now. I don't know who all knows about it, but I know it's been talked about behind my back. I just want to control myself enough that no one ever knows that I like them. This at least is the first time the person didn't immediately hate me (he doesn't hate me). It is the end of the world because no one has been affectionate towards me like that before (not family, not friends…and I've never really been in a relationship…in the closest thing I had to a relationship I didn't even feel like that. And so now I'm not going to feel that again. He gets to move on and already has plenty of experience and I have virtually none. Of course he has a problem with that and so will everyone else. It's like getting a job—you can't get a job without experience and you can't get experience without a job. So I should have just gotten a lot of meaningless experience in high school so I could be worth something to someone. But no, I'm not qualified. I'm not qualified for a relationship, I'm not qualified for a job…I'm not qualified for anything. I'm not even sure I'm qualified to be alive.
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#6
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Do your best to avoid eye contact.
You are in quite a conundrum, with friends that chat about you behind your back, and having to not give off, one ounce of subconscious, I"m interested vibes. Ever considered branching out, into other social circles? |
#7
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I did, that's how I ended up with the friends I have now. The whole branching out thing. If I hadn't liked him in the first place, they wouldn't have had to talk about what to do about me. And if I knew how to hide my feelings better (I thought I was very good), then I could have just kept it to myself.
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#8
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Who cares if they talk. Next week they will be doing the same about someone else in the group. I don't want to take away from your feelings but really, it is not quite the life ending situation you are imagining
So your choices 1- find a new circle 2- tell your crush you like someone else; so they think your not interested 3- meet Someone else, so they know your not interested 4- start a small rumour to redirect the Chinese whispers 5- stop caring. I wish more people liked me- when in the entire existence of anyone have thu ever said " I wish everyone would stop liking me?" Face it, it's an ego boost for them. (Just saying) ![]() |
#9
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Sorry, to resurrect this thread, but with school starting in the near future, I really need to address the issue I have with projecting my interest towards someone. I believe I flirt and all that without realizing it or meaning to and some people are just really perceptive so it won't matter whether I do anything or not. So is my only choice to convince myself that I don't actually have a crush or destroy crushes as soon as they come up? And I already have a crush on someone and school hasn't even started yet! When do we ever grow up and stop having crushes/feelings for people?!
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