Rejection from my family

Hello. I left home at eighteen years old,.and ever since then, my family treats me like they HATE me. Last time I was down there visiting, I ended up in the hospital from being so stressed out with the way I was being treated by my parents, mainly my mother that I ended up in the hospital with a mini stroke. So, as I was in the hospital, in the ER triage, my mom wanted to leave. And, while I was in the hospital room, hospital staff was watching my heart rate and when she came to visit me, she gave me her phone to speak to my brother, he started to accuse me of faking the collapsing, and really low blood pressure (85/73), and my right side of my body going numb. He then accuses me of being a bad mother and I need to just go back home to be with my kids instead of visiting them there in Florida, as well as other stuff So then I get angry and go to throw the phone and she grabs the phone out of my hand. So then I push the tray that was near my bed as hard as I can, pushing the food that the hospital had served me off of the table. I then began to scream at her to not ever make me speak to him again. I then. Begin to scream at her to get the f out of my room over and over. My heart rate was sky high. The nurses rush in and rush my mom out of my room and then tells her she has to leave. Then, she has the nerve to be spiteful and tel the staff that I had the outburst because I am going through a lot of problems.at.home so I just had an outburst. So then they send a quack doctor to evaluate me. He puts down that I am not capable of making correct decisions on my own because I refused therapy, and he was told that I had a psychotic episode. I was like what??? I am becoming extremely angry as I write this. Before I left, she accused me of embarrassing her and she is afraid to show her face back at that hospital because of how I behaved. So she is totally trying to play innocent. Now, I was considering going back to visit and I told her how I recently got back into contact with a friend on Facebook, so I wanted to go out to lunch or dinner with the friend while down there, and when I was there the last time, ain wanted a small glass of wine, and she totally called me an alcoholic. But she has a glass of wine or beer every night. I have a single drink once, maybe twice a year. So, I told her I also would sometimes want a glass of wine with dinner, and that when I come down there, I don't want any drama from my brother, and she told me, after she didn't reply back at all until I requested an answer from her like a day or two after I texted that message to her, and she said they cannot accommodate that kind of lifestyle there, because my dad is sick, thank God my brother is there to help with my father. It seemed like she was trying to sh@t on me once again. So I just replied back to her, yeah ok,bye. I haven't heard from her since. But, I also wanted to say that the last time I was there I said something, and then, she said something totally mean to me.and I yelled at her, why can't she ever just be supportive of me?! So then... she screamed on top of her lungs, you better stop talking to me like that before I call EMS and have them committ you into a psych ward!!! And then, on top of it, my cousin wanted to take me out, because my mother was probably complaining, and so.I said that I don't want to go and she tried to force me to go, mind you, I am a grown arse woman, and then I heard her telling my cousin that I am an f'ing retard. So, I am sick and tired of being rejected. What do u guys think???

I don't get why you would bother to go back. Like.. I get that you're probably still trying to somehow be a "good" daughter... but they're never going to be satisfied.

Enjoy your life wherever you are, with your kids and your friends. You really don't need to subject yourself to an environment like that!

Perhaps there has been your hope - for happier interactions with family members, so this kept you going back to them. Yet - there's all of this unpleasantness going on, and resulting in your feeling so stressed, etc. For your sake, would it maybe be more peaceful to have more space & time for yourself (without so much of them around)? Less frequent of them in your life? And then create a life for yourself that'll make you happier.

I guess I keep holding onto the hope that maybe one day, some.day things would change. But apparently they haven't .

Yeah... I have been hoping that some day, one day they will love and accept me. It kinda makes me wonder if this is why my cousin did drugs and committed suicide because she felt the same kind of treatment from her mom and the family??? Hmmmm....

Cookiez - I understand the feeling as I feel it too. I never feel like I'm good enough... and I just don't fit in with my family at all.

I've found physical distance to be the most beneficial thing. And I keep conversations with my family to superficial topics. It's taken a lot of effort on my part, but my parents no longer pry for information unless I'm physically there.

It took me a long time to accept that my family was who they are, and that they're never going to change.. no matter how much I wanted them too. So I had to make the changes that I could to find the best possibly compromise that wasn't going to put my own identity or self-worth at risk. I had to find out what I was and was not willing to put up with, and then to figure out how I was going to enforce those boundaries. Sometimes it still doesn't work, but at least I know I've tried to protect myself and still be an "ok" daughter.