i know doctors cant date their patients, but its driving me crazy. he is 7 years older than me. he told me previously that he was single cos he "hasnt had time" but im not sure if he's still single. my main problem has been anxiety and he told me that he has had anxiety issues too. we always have a talk and a laugh during appointments and we have the same interests. he has said a few times that he thinks I am pretty and young looking and my last appointment was weird since he took my hand, stroked it and said "im so glad youre feeling better, ive been thinking about you" maybe he was being kind but sometimes I think he likes me too.
so anyway I just kind of want to work out whether he is possibly interested. I want to say something like "hypothetically speaking, if you were socially to meet someone like me, and she asked you out, would you accept?
does this sound too obvious? does it sound like im telling him that I like him and want him?
I don't have delusional ideas, I just want to know if he would if he could that's all

[jadzea]

I'm afraid your "hypothetical" question is very obvious. I would not ask him. In many cases a personal relationship would ruin your therapeutic relationship and not a good idea. Why do you want to know if he would go out with you? Sometimes the imagining is better than the knowing.

[hamster-bamster]

It would sound obvious, but you can still ask him - he will have to find the right words to respond with, but supposedly they get trained to handle attractions coming from patients. If I were him, I would say, with enthusiasm, that yes I would in a social setting, but we are not in a social setting. In other words, I would try to give you a positive response - positive without reservations - and at the same time firmly state the boundaries and constraints of the therapeutic relationship.

Remember that doctors are not supposed to date their patients. Patients do not have a reciprocal duty to doctors, because the relationship is asymmetrical - doctors hold patients' trust and are supposed to further patients' best interest without exploiting the patients' position as it is considered vulnerable. You, as a patient, do not have such duties towards the dr. You are supposed to be on time and pay as agreed, plus follow some additional rules if a contract exists between you and the dr., but that is all. You can ask any questions you feel like asking.

thanks. no I don't think I will ask him. I guess my feeling was just that ive seen him a couple of times socially and we've talked. we have the same interests so sometimes I see him around when he's not working. just made me feel that if we had met socially instead of as a doctor and patient that things might have been different.