I have been married for 16 years and we have children. My husband is the whole package, looks, work ethic, good father, and would do anything for me. When I think about this problem the reason I listed above or why I know this is all me. I have an ex from 20 years ago who I would think about occasionally, but not often. We ran into one another 6 weeks ago and I just felt all these feelings rushing back. My ex is not a bad man either, but is very different from my husband. He is more alternative, where my husband is more of the GQ type. I told my husband all of this and he has been super understanding and kind. I have spoken and texted with the ex, but there are no worries because that will end whether I want it to or not. The ex became upset with me and has ceased contact. I have tried rationalizing all of this, telling myself he grass is never green. That any newness or sparks I would feel with him will became mundane too after awhile. I have told myself that I could never really leave my situation anyway. I know how I need to think, but I can' t seem to get this person out of my head. I just need some advice.

[curley]

Wow Lovely, stay busy! Concentrate on your life and maybe making a few changes so it does not feel "mundane" Do whatever you need to do to get this man out of your mind. It sounds like you have a marriage that many people would give anything for. You are right the grass usually does look greener,and you have not been with this other man for 20 years. You broke up for a reason . Think about how you would feel if your husband confided in you that he was talking to an ex!
If sparks are not flying in your marriage, and you want them, make them happen. Plan romantic dinners, seduce him, make it hot again.
Dont waste your time on what if's when you have such a wonderful man.

[hannabee]

I couldn't agree more with curley!!!!

[bookmadness]

Lovedeeply,

It sounds like you have a wonderful husband. The fact that you can talk with him about your ex makes him sound even more appealing

If you ex ended up perturbed with you, perhaps that speaks to how a longer term relationship would have ended up with him. There is always the appeal of "what might have been" or just the thought of multiple people being amorous of you at once, but a man that will stick by you is worth his weight in the GQ gold you mentioned.

Good luck!

[kipper-bang]

Forget your ex. Go home to your wonderful understanding husband and make passionate love to him. Put yourself in your husbands shoes and imagine how you would feel if he met an ex kept in contact with her, met up with her and was considering leaving you? It would devastate you, so how can you even consider doing this to your loyal husband?

Count your blessings and do what you can to spice up your sex life at home.

[healingme4me]

What is it, about the ceased communication, with the ex, that is keeping you lulled into the inability to stop thinking about him?

I'm sure, many of us, look back and wonder what life would be like, if we'd chosen one path over the other. What need, was restarting a friendship, with your ex, bringing to the surface, as missing, in the here and now?


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Thank you all so much for the advice. I agree an am going to put this all behind me. I am hoping with time the feelings will just disappear. I am not sure why reconnecting with him brought all of these feelings to the surface. There could be two reasons, I failed I mention that we lost a pregnancy when we were together. It is the main reason out relationship ended, I was distraught and ended taking it out in him. I eventually left him without a reason. The other reason I think these feelings might have surfaced is simply because everyday life sometimes gets boring and it could have been just the excitement. I know that I have a great husband and that I need to make time for is to rekindle things in out marriage.

[healingme4me]

((((Lovedeeply73))))

As you move past, I see symbolism, in the fact he cut off communication with you.

it's ok, to wonder how he's been, you did have a tragic past, together.

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