Friend vs Acquaintance

I think that an acquaintance is someone who you know and may interact with on a daily basis but interactions are superficial and they are not the people to go to during bad times while a real friend is there for you through the good, the bad, and the ugly. I feel like most people, whether they realize it or not, have way more acquaintances than real friends, only a handful of all the people they actually hang out with are real friends but they won't know until something bad happens. Most people either don't realize it or don't care. Does anyone agree or am I wrong at all? This is what I think but I could be totally wrong or may be getting things confused.

I don't think you're wrong in believing what you do about friends vs acquaintances. You are the only one who has control over your definition of friendship.

I agree to an extent. I agree that people generally have a pretty lenient definition of friendship, and sometimes I am one of those people who doesn't care if a person is a true friend or not. But most of the time I am pretty strict as well. I don't hang out with people very often at all. I have fairly superficial relationships with most of the people I know, because I work with them or they're friends with my husband or we have kids the same age and I'd like my kids to have a good grasp of the different kinds of people out there. I think that if I feel okay with talking to a person about my own thoughts and feelings about somewhat controversial things, then I can probably call them a friend on any given day. However, if I have to guard what I say around someone, then they are really just an acquaintance because I can't let them know the real me.

I think that a lot more people consider me a "friend" than I do them, because I am pretty easy to get along with and am usually non-confrontational. This is saying a LOT since just five years ago I was a VERY different person.

Acquaintance = "Good, how are you?" as an acceptable response when asked how you are.

Friend = "Not my best, do you have a some time, I have something I need to talk about ..." as an acceptable response when asked how you are.

Acquaintance can become friend but it takes time, investment, trust, and good judgment.

Just wanted to mention that I have never asked a person this, no matter how close we are, haha.

"Fine, how are you?" is my response to that question, regardless of how I really feel

ETA: But that's just how I am, I internalize things and I don't like to let people know I'm having any emotional problems. I'm also very blunt so if I need to talk to someone about something I just start talking about it when I catch them free. If I can't catch them free, I'll write them. But I don't have issues with people unless I really know them, haha. And then it's usually never big enough that I'd have to say something to them about it. That's only happened twice in the last year or two.

Sure, I have best friends, close friends, friends, acquaintances, etc. Are you saying that most people cannot make that distinction? I highly doubt that you are right.

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I think you are right. Most people aren't really good friends unless you interact with them on a personal level. I don't have many friends. In fact I can only say that I have one or two. One I talk to every day, and one every couple of months. I have many acquaintances though.

The reason why I think people have trouble because they will call some of these people their real friends when they are clearly just acquaintances or they call them real friends only to find out who their real friends are when the times are bad. I think just because you hang with a group of people everyday does not make then a actual friend if conversations are superficial like some people think. I hang out with a group of people but they are clearly not real friends since conversations keep on getting repeated and if it is in a group setting, I am completely ignored. I'm just saying I think for some people the lines can seem blurred and things can get confusing.

Your definition in and of itself isn't off when it comes to what an acquaintence is vs a close friend.

What I don't understand is where the distinction and reason behind your statement that I emphasized above. Not sure this is anything to agree nor disagree with it's kind of a generalized statement that can't really be defined. How do you know if most people care or do not care or even know the difference at all? It's a very broad statement in and of itself.

More importantly, why does it matter? Your definition of a friend and knowing the difference really is the only significant thing here. Who cares what joe somebody down the street thinks or what he cares about?

Just missing the point of the question.

Thecword "friend" is overused these days, and "buddy", "pal", "chum" are underused.

Sure the lines seem blurred for some people. Some people pick horrible people to try to be friends with, others are great at making friends... some people have potentially great friends and have problems with relationships so lose these friends.. but then what's the point you're making?

Is there someone in particular that you are speaking for, or is it that you're having a hard time making a friend? Do you particularly have a hard time making he distinction yourself in real life or do other people do that with you? I'm just not understanding the motivation behind your statements about some people and how they make friends or "classify" them.

This is just very subjective ground here. What one person feels is a friend and another considers an acquaintence is entirely based a lot on personal perspective too. I do not believe there is a real definition that would say "you're wrong, I'm right" about such an issue. Maybe a person keeps everyone at a distance and calls all of them friends. maybe it's a person that opens up to everyone... is everyone a friend then? I mean it's all such a grey area here really.

Oh I see what you mean, sorry about the confusion. Yeah I do have trouble making friends and I used to have trouble making the distinction and although I am better at it now, I sometimes still question whether or not the people I hang out with are real friends or just mere acquaintances. I should have mentioned this when I originally made the post.

no worries.

Don't overthink it. sometimes one you consider a friend may end up not being as close as you thought after a time and vice versa.

Exactly, totally agree.

I never use the term acquaintance, even though that is really a better description for, let's say, a co-worker. I have often called co-workers my friends but know they are not "real" friends in the sense of the word. I distinguish between "work friends", "college friends", "friends from the neighborhood" and real friends. Each has their own place with regard to expectations of conversation, assistance and loyalty. The one's I know I can count on are the "real" friends. I think most people know the difference, it's just easier to call them a friend rather than an acquaintance.

I have very similar definitions of aquaintances and friends. I think it's important that people know what they consider to be the difference between the two. It helps the person know who to turn to in which situations. It would be very counter productive to turn to an aquaintance when what is really needed is a friend.

I also think that it's important that we have friends (best, close, good etc) and aquaintances. Each type fulfills a different need in your life.