[liana13]

So me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months. I have a slight dilemma, however, it's nothing major and I wouldn't break up with him over it.

When I talk to him about my past (history of abuse), I am quite emotionally numb towards it. I kind of don't care and tell him anything he asks to hear. This might be why, when he gets more upset than I do, I seem to get very "uh.. what?" because I'm not used to it.

I this post is a little messed up, so sorry about that. But could the reason I get so taken aback by how apparently sensitive he is, be because I am 1) used to my past, I know how to deal with it emotionally now and 2) because of what happened, I'm a lot more emotionally numb towards it.

Do I have anything to worry about? I am probably just overreacting, it just bothered me slightly and I need to know that I'm not jumping to assumptions saying he is the one in the 'wrong' here?

Huh. I don't know if this is what your bf is experiencing but when I'm listening to my friends' stories and they share something really personal I tend to get very emotional as well. Part of it is the shock value but a lot of it has to do with the fact that my friends are very close to my heart and the idea that they have been hurt in such terrible ways is kind of overwhelming. Because, well, I want to be there to help my friends when they are hurting (or even prevent it) and that I couldn't help them in any way. Though depending on the friend I hold it in, if I can tell they don't really want me to be emotional about it.

How long has it been since you told him? Perhaps giving him a little time to settle with the idea will make him less emotional about it?

Originally Posted by liana13

So me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 months. I have a slight dilemma, however, it's nothing major and I wouldn't break up with him over it.

When I talk to him about my past (history of abuse), I am quite emotionally numb towards it. I kind of don't care and tell him anything he asks to hear. This might be why, when he gets more upset than I do, I seem to get very "uh.. what?" because I'm not used to it.

I this post is a little messed up, so sorry about that. But could the reason I get so taken aback by how apparently sensitive he is, be because I am 1) used to my past, I know how to deal with it emotionally now and 2) because of what happened, I'm a lot more emotionally numb towards it.

Do I have anything to worry about? I am probably just overreacting, it just bothered me slightly and I need to know that I'm not jumping to assumptions saying he is the one in the 'wrong' here?

Do you have anything to worry about? Well it depends on how you look at it. First what you have here is a bf who actually has a lot of empathy, he's someone that actually feels for others and in and of itself it can be a good thing, unless you want a distant, unemotional bf that you never connect with. The question is not in whether the empathy is a bad thing or that him having the emotional response he does to your past, it's how he handles it. If he begins to act on it and doing things that are detrimental to your relationship because of his feelings, there is a problem. If he's just being compassionate and feeling for you, try being more understanding of this and accept that it can be something that will make a close relationship much more meaningful.