[cryingglitter]

So my dad and I have a really poor relationship. Ever since I could remember, my dad wakes up after I leave for school and comes home when I go to bed. The times he does come home when I'm awake, he tries talking to me for a few minutes, but by then, I've already explained everything about my day to my mom, and it feels pointless telling him anything. I'm 17 now and going to college in July. I have such a poor relationship with him. It bothers me that I'm leaving home without a connection with him, but I really don't care to try to form one now. I don't love him. Every word that comes out of his mouth bothers me. He's from China and his mentality is set no later than when he left - in the 1970's. He has no modernity at all. And what's more annoying is that he vents to my mom about how he doesn't have a good relationship with me. He doesn't get that he hasn't been by my side for practically my whole life. He has no idea what goes on in my life. I know I should explain things to him if I want him to be apart of my life, but I'm being completely objective when I say that his mind is somewhere else and he won't understand anything I tell him. For example, I'm having my birthday party soon, and he says we should have a set program. NO. We should NOT have a set program because it's a birthday party and my friends will be there. It's not a damn wedding. Another example, I'm going to X University. All he keeps saying is how hard it is to get in - he has NO idea about what the essence of college is all about, because he's from China and went straight to medical school after high school. He has this damn competitive mindset and all that matters is that I got in to a tough school and other people didn't.

SO. ANNOYING. His mere presence makes me angry.

[curley]

It seems to me that you really do want a relationship with your dad. I think you want him to understand you. Sounds like he wants to know you too. Maybe if you sit down with him when he tries to talk to you your relationship could grow. Maybe you will find he is different then you think!!
Parents are not around forever and you may be sorry you did not try to form a relationship!

[chef1]

Hi cryingglitter lately I've been having problems with my father too, about half a year ago my father fell into depression. We used to have a pretty good relationship, I used to look up to him. But now I can't stand him. He constantly acts timid and weak, he used to be the opposite. I know my dad is going through a hard time right now, but just looking at him pisses me of. I don't feel any connection to him anymore. I feel like a horrible person being like this, but I feel what I feel.
But anyway I am the same age as you, and I can kinda understand your problem. So if you ever feel the need to talk to someone about your problems feel free to message me

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[chroma66]

I don't think you're giving him much of a chance. Why would it be "pointless" to repeat your day to him if he hadn't heard it yet? It's not his fault he has to work and can't be there when you get home. But to be honest I didn't get along with my parents until I moved out and paid my own bills.

[chef1]

No thats kinda the problem he's always there when I get home, he quit his job because of his depression leaving my mom to uphold a family with 3 children alone.

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