Lucky Yet Lost...

I have this constant battle in my mind and it's really bothering me. I'm pretty sure I know what to do but am having a hard time making a decision...

My boyfriend and I have been together for 9mo, we've talked about our future together, but I keep getting this feeling that I'm supposed to be alone right now to get myself where I want to be (mentally and emotionally). I am dx BP2 and just got on meds, I go to reiki healings once/wk, and meditate when I can. I'm not too happy with me & know that I won't be able to be happy with him if I'm not happy with me 1st. I've explained that to him.

The thing is, I really hope I can snap out of it and just be happy. He's such a sweetheart. He adores me and always has me in mind. He's a hopeless romantic. But sometimes it's just too much for me. Idk why, but I find myself not wanting to be around him more times than not. I get very aggitated, even when he's just trying to be sweet. He juat really annoys me sometimes. I'm hoping it's just this damn disorder. I just got on Lamictal and am hoping that it will help with the irritability and depression. I also hope that the unhappiness lies mostly within myself and I can overcome it...

This is such a sucky feeling. I feel like I dont love him like he deserves to be loved. I'm not all mushy gushy like he is. It almost makes me feel like the man in the relationship. I hate seeing that he is sad b/c of me. It makes me feel like i dont deserve him or his love for me. We've had conversations about it before. He sees the good in me. He sees how happy and silly I can be, although its few and far between.

I just don't feel how he feels for me & it's killing me b/c I want to... I want to be madly, deeply in love with him. I'm not too sure if past relationships and situations have made me kind of cold or numb or what. My dad thinks that may be some of it. I'm sure my negativity doesn't help, although I'm working on it. I guess I don't have the faith that he does. Im a bit of a worry wart.

I feel like I shouldn't be having these feelings only 9mo in. Its not fair to him. I feel sad and guilty. B/c i think he deserves better. Someone that can give him the love and affection he needs...

I cant seem to break it off though b/c I just keep hoping that my feelings change. I don't want to lose out on a great, loving, & caring guy....

:-(

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Could you talk about taking a break? Even just 1-2 months? See how you go. Spend the time focusing on yourself and your priorities and whether the relationship is right for you. You may find that the things that concern you now aren't as important as the love and care he provides and work through it, or may find that it is still too much.

It's great that he is a loving guy, but he may not be the right nice, loving guy for you. I have found that even though you may love someone and they are sweet and romantic it still doesn't always work out if you aren't on the same page.

Good luck I really hope you can work out what is best for you.

That has to be one of the most frustrating dating situations--- finding someone who 'looks good on paper' but who you don't completely click with.

There are other guys out there who are nice and who will treat you well. It's sort of hard to remember that being nice to you should be a bare minimum when you are used to dating bad boys -- or at least it was for me

We've broken up a couple of times. He was all heartbroken with stomach pains and everything and honestly, i was pretty okay. I wasnt affected by it nearly as much as he was. I just wondered if i did the right thing. I doubt that he'll go for a break. I feel like this relationship agrivates me more than it makes me happy. Ugh. I just don't know

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