[Ogre318]

So Im 27, my gf is 20. I love her very much but we keep having the same exact fight over and over again. Ive never been on a forum like this before, and I honestly feel stupid doing it. Ill go ahead and let you all in on my problem, im so desperate and scared to find the answers.

Ive been with my gf for about 2 and a half years now, ive never given her a reason not to trust me, in fact ive tried to prove myself over and over again. Shes had alot of sour relationships in the past, and even her own mother is a huge letdown, shes not capable of trusting people at all. She tries, and I see it. I compliment her on it. But it always ultimately fails.

We are both in college, at the same school, and even have a class together. Ive always been the kind of guy to have alot of friends, shes always been the kind of girl that pushes people away because she just doesnt trust them. I want to make new friends, im new to the area im in. But ive always been one of those guys that gets along with girls better, I dont really care for other dudes. All of my best friends are guys, but the majority of friends are definitely female.

She says she wants me to have friends, but the second I make one things get awkward, she starts pushing me away, being quiet all the time, and if I try to hang out with a girl she starts crying. My girlfriend is always included in any of my plans, ive never once told her that shes not allowed to join me. But shes not the kind of girl to have friends and ultimately turns it down.

Im not sure I can go on in the relationship, I trust her with everything, shes even left town for a week on a holiday to stay with one of the few friends she has, its a guy. I dont mind it at all, I was kind of upset she wasnt around for thd holiday, but I honestly just missed her. I love her with everything ive got.

Im so confused, and depressed about it. We talk about it, but it never changes. Ive tried everything I can think of to prove it, we spend 24 hours a day, 6 days out of the week together, I wouldnt have time to cheat on her if I possibly even wanted too.

We have had this fight so many times, and ive been blaming myself, but now im starting to wonder if maybe its her? Is she guilty of something? Is she just incapable of trust? I dont know where to look for answers, I havent the slightest idea on what to say or how to act anymore. I feel like im not allowed to have friends. I want to stand by her side and fight this, but how do I even begin to do that? Lately ive been feeling like a coward, becuase I feel like maybe it will never change, and maybe it just isnt meant to be for us. Ive caught myself thinking of what life would be like without her, and what it mightnbe like in the future if I stick around. Ive thought about life with other girls.... im lost.

[kaliope]

hi ogre
I don't think you are doing anything wrong. you are entitled to a life outside of your gf. this is her problem. you cannot help it that she has trust issues. this will be an ongoing problem for you if she doesn't learn to trust you and become more social. it would be helpful if she got into therapy to deal with her issues. it sounds like you bend over backwards for her. things are not going to change unless she changes her outlook. welcome to psych central. you will find that we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[Fuzzybear]

Welcome to pc