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#1
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Been with her nearly two years. Then she breaks up with me, and is very mean and showed no compassion. She told me she was the non-committing type when we met. Yet, she fell in love with me, and wanted to commit to me. I felt the same for her. So we both proceeded, and had a great time. Now she wants to date me, and just keep it "fun and light", because she loves me - she just does not want to responsibility and accountability to me. I know she loves me, and cares about me, but it is tearing me apart trying to step back to casual dating, when her and I shared a life together. So, when she calls, and wants to see me, I come running. Yet, I feel like a toy to be placed in and out of the closet at will. I don't know if this is her way of working it out, or just keeping me around for when she is lonely. I don't know what to do.
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"You must unlearn what you have learned", -Yoda ![]() |
#2
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This means she likes you and likes spending time with you, however she doesn't want her personhood intertwined with yours and she doesn't want to feel like she has to answer to you (like a parent or a boss) as far how she spends her time. Those are the words of someone who is suffocating in an otherwise enjoyable relationship. Give her some space and don't try to tie an anchor to her. She just doesn't want to give up her freedom, and she might not ever, so if you need that commitment that she knew she never wanted but fell into for the fun stuff, you might want to just let her go entirely. It sounds like your attachment styles don't match well.
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#3
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I feel like a toy to be placed in and out of the closet at will
And she's mean to you. If she has indicated that she prefers casual dating right now - then perhaps she's not ready for commitment. Maybe allow some space. |
#4
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If you can, i would move on. Find someone who is a little more grateful about finding a steady guy?
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