Uh oh trouble brewing

My son in a fit of rage just left the house speeding down the road. Appears an x girlfriend or one of her friends sprayed painted the front door and windows with spray paint. Anyway someone is rather mad at my son to do such a thing. Anyway son wanted me to say I saw his girlfriend and I refused because I didn't see anyone. He flipped out calling me all kinds of names while in his fit of rage. I didn't scream back I just agreed with everything he yelled at me and that seemed to make him more mad.. He said I wasn't standing up for him.. well... I am not going to lie and say I saw something that I didn't. Dogs were barking last night, but I didn't go check it out,, Guess I should have i would have caught whoever did it red handed...anyway he is flipping out. He is rather old for "acting out" the way he is.. God he is 26.. I think he is still drunk from last night cuz I smell alcohol, so that the only time he flips out like this.

He called his x girlfriends mother and the mother said her daughter did not do it. So son is more angry. I said it may have been one of his girlfriend's friends that did it. anyway he wants someone to pay and own up to this dirty deed. I doubt anyone will fess up. I say just clean it up and forget it.. but he says nooooooooooooooooooooooo .. and still angry zooms down the street. He wants instant confession and instant clean up. Which isn't going to happen. takes a lil time to find out who did it, and we may never know who did it. I am afraid for my son. When he gets like this it scares me. I guess I should not have agreed with him that I was a piece of S***, worthless, nobody. He even said I was dead to him. I said i died l0 years ago, so what is new. Guess that wasn't a good answer.

grrrrrr at life. Grrrrr at helplessness. Grrrrrrrr at me for everything that I ever failed in life. Everything is my fault. When i accept that, folks get more angry. can't win for losing. If I try I get knocked down. I am sooo angry that I ever thought I could have a "decent" loving family. I have no skills or knowledge of what even that is. I often wonder why God lets people like me live when it seems all the good folks pass on and there are idiots like me wasting time, space and even air.. What a hoot.. What a waste.

A handsome, smart, man, with so much potential and he is screwing it all up. I don't know where all his rage comes from. I just don't understand.

I don't need any comments here. I am just rambling about because I am afraid.

Oh, radio flyer, I feel so bad for you. I watched the same thing happen to my next door neighbor 15-20 years ago. Somebody hated him/a member of his family. We had only just moved in a few months earlier when someone murdered his dog in his backyard (from our yard). And they broke into his daughter's car, their shed, etc. on different occasions. His kids from a previous marriage had never quite made it in life and he was trying to help them.

I hope your son calms down soon and sees how things can't get better keeping up whatever feud there is.

You may not want or need any comments, Sweety, but you're going to get some from me.

FIRST OF ALL, you CANNOT be responsible for what your son does at his age!

SECOND, what he is doing is HIS responsibility, HIS consequences. It has NOTHING to do with you as his mother. You did the best you could when you were raising him, now it's ALL UP TO HIM to use what he was supposed to have learned. If he didn't, or chose to cast it aside, it's on HIM.

This is a lesson I'm still in the process of learning. My kids didn't turn out to be what I taught them to be. We don't have the close knit family that I thought I had taught them to be. They've all CHOSEN their own path. It hurts, but hey! It's THEIR choice. THEY have to live with it.

Take some deep breaths and detach yourself emotionally from this situation. You said the right things to him concerning it... but NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE! I understand only too well, though.

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It sounds like an emotionally complicated situation. What September says tis true, though -- the only behavior you can possibly be responsible for is your own. Good luck with all this.

I have been trying something lately and that is taking my fallures and try and learn from them. I have heard that the most sussessful people are ones that fail the most. I do know it is very hard to think that way. I wish you luck . I hope your son is ok and learns from this. May god be with you and yours