In need of some advice please.

My ex and I (together 4 years) broke up about a month ago due to him being unfaithful and abusive. We spoke for about three weeks, but then I got angry at him and told me to never speak to me again. We started speaking again a week later, and I'm torn. I really want him back. But on the other hand, I think about the cheating and the lies and I don't...I feel like I'm willing to give him another chance, but then I think about how many chances he's already had.... I don't know what to do, feeling sick from anxiety about this. It was all so much better when we didn't talk...but I like talking to him just as a friend...but he still calls me beautiful and sends me x's so it makes me feel like getting back together with him...I'm so conflicted about this and really need some help from someone a bit more experienced with this!

Don't take him back. All that does is prove to him he can get away with these things and you will just need to some time to call off. It's a cycle that needs to be broken. Sorry it hurts but that is a fact of life.

If he is abusive, then he needs to understand why he is like this, and find some way to fix it, before getting involved with you or anyone again. I can almost guarantee that the abuse won't stop unless he acknowledges his problem and does something about it.

The cheating is probably tied in with his abusive behavior.

I advise you NOT to go back with him right now, since it is a safety issue. Don't buy into the affectionate behavior that he is now displaying, unless he is making a huge effort to work on himself regarding the abuse and infidelity. He really should be going to a counselor for this.

NO matter waht the good times were, he is as you admitted, abusive and unfaithful. More than likely this will never change and that is not worth it.

i know you miss him, but....in my experience. once a cheater ALWAYS A CHEATER in MOST cases. if a guy knows he can get away with cheating on you and you put up with it, he will do it again. 4 years is a good amount of time to be together and it hurts like hell to be apart, but consider this

how are you going to ever be able to trust him again??
in the end you have to do what is best for you, good luck!

if you take him back you are admitting to yourself that you do not deserve to be treated better..... that you are willing to settle for this lousy treatment and this is the best you can do....on the other hand.....make a clean break from this person.....take this difficult situation and go through it.....don't try to go around it or avoid it or delay or postpone it....be sad....be lonely be upset.....but work through it and when the dust clears you will be a stronger person for it and ready to open your heart to someone more deserving of all the love and affection you have to give.....beechwood