[melissamabd]

Please advise... am I required to like my daughter's girlfriend/significant other? She has been rude to me in the past. My teenage daughter has stopped speaking to me over this and is seeking refuge with my husband. I feel abandoned by them both.

[Travelinglady]

Hello, melissamabd, and welcome to Psych Central! No, I certainly don't think you are required to like your daughter's girlfriend. It would be hard to like someone who is rude to you.

That said, it wouldn't hurt to try to be at least civil to the girlfriend and maybe even try to be nice. Perhaps she would then be nicer and the relationship would be better. And your daughter and husband would be happier.

My mother never liked my husband, and that has certainly made my life harder. I wish she could have been kinder. He is a great guy.

You don't have to like someone to treat them with kindness. Even if the girlfriend has been rude to you in the past be kind to her. Maybe it will cause her to be kind to you. Maybe y'all just got off in the wrong foot. Much luck to ya

[healingme4me]

Teenagers can be belligerent as it is. What is your husbands opinion on how he would like to see you handle this? I'm sure, some part could be the same sex relationship, and the dynamics of wanting acceptance, on your daughters part. Yet, deep down, it's truly about how respect needs to be given to be received. Could say, you'll take the high road and have a conversation that states that perhaps things got off to a rocky start. Explain the specific behavior that rubbed you wrong. And move on from there. Your husband needs to be in your corner, too.