[Grey Matter]

Some may know I had a partner. Upon being inpatient and seeing how the relationship was triggering for not only myself, but for my ex, I made what I believe to be a logical and mature decision on ending the relationship. She agreed, and we ended that part of our relationship calmly and maturely.

Those who haven't been mature; Her friends.

It's turned into a ridiculous "contest" of sorts as to who can complicate a simply non-complicated break up. I have been called cold hearted because I haven't cried, because I didn't "fight". That I "tricked" her into loving me just to have her attention... even though this break up was a healthy, mutual agreement.

Not only did I NOT want to hurt her, after a suicide attempt I am well aware I need to keep myself safe. This is why it was mutually decided that it was a good idea. We do not hate each other. Yet, at the end of the day, I have been called some very horrid things. The most G rated being

"Robot"
"Heartless"
"Bastard"
"Selfish"
etc, etc

Why is it seen in society as a robotic move to approach external relationships with a logical mind? Would it have been kinder, more romantic, if I dragged the both of us down? Would I be a better person if I convinced her that staying with me may cause her depression/anxiety to flare, but it will be worth it because it's "true love"?

I feel certain in her and my own decision. But I simply don't understand why it is charming and acceptable to keep an unhealthy relationship going, but getting out of it with all parties safe, is shameful.

[ifst5]

Maybe some people don't like their own abilities being undermined by an amicably concluded relationship. So they tell themselves it can't possibly happen. As with most kinds of bullying it's more about the perpetrator. Try as best you can to focus with your own feelings towards the end of this relationship, they're more important.

[Rose3]

Maybe some space/distance from this relationship right now would be beneficial for you. When it is recognized that a relationship is unhealthy, then it is important to consider what needs to happen in order to keep oneself safe and healthy.

[nummy]

It should pass when you don't feed into their need for drama.

[Grey Matter]

nummy; I am the last person to feed into a ridiculous group mentality that stems from others own inability, like ifst5 said, to accept relationships can and will end peacefully. The most reaction they've gotten from me is a raised eyebrow and me posting here completely baffled that people would rather I have hurt her emotionally than do the grown-up thing.

[healingme4me]

I find, sometimes, emotionally immature beings, are completely unable to recognize the qualities of healthy choices. And because it's foreign to them, they cast labels and make up their own unenlightened conclusions.

Glad to know, you aren't partaking in their drama. Sorry that your relationship ended. Sounds like you both approached this from a mature state of mind.

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by Grey Matter

Some may know I had a partner. Upon being inpatient and seeing how the relationship was triggering for not only myself, but for my ex, I made what I believe to be a logical and mature decision on ending the relationship. She agreed, and we ended that part of our relationship calmly and maturely.

Those who haven't been mature; Her friends.

It's turned into a ridiculous "contest" of sorts as to who can complicate a simply non-complicated break up. I have been called cold hearted because I haven't cried, because I didn't "fight". That I "tricked" her into loving me just to have her attention... even though this break up was a healthy, mutual agreement.

Not only did I NOT want to hurt her, after a suicide attempt I am well aware I need to keep myself safe. This is why it was mutually decided that it was a good idea. We do not hate each other. Yet, at the end of the day, I have been called some very horrid things. The most G rated being

"Robot"
"Heartless"
"Bastard"
"Selfish"
etc, etc

Why is it seen in society as a robotic move to approach external relationships with a logical mind? Would it have been kinder, more romantic, if I dragged the both of us down? Would I be a better person if I convinced her that staying with me may cause her depression/anxiety to flare, but it will be worth it because it's "true love"?

I feel certain in her and my own decision. But I simply don't understand why it is charming and acceptable to keep an unhealthy relationship going, but getting out of it with all parties safe, is shameful.

what you have done is not evil at all, it is admirable.more people should take notes from you on how to peacefully end a relationship..i am still friends with my last 3 ex's and none of the break ups were a bloodbath nor should they have been, i can still see any one of them any time i want.

[nummy]

Originally Posted by Grey Matter

nummy; I am the last person to feed into a ridiculous group mentality that stems from others own inability, like ifst5 said, to accept relationships can and will end peacefully. The most reaction they've gotten from me is a raised eyebrow and me posting here completely baffled that people would rather I have hurt her emotionally than do the grown-up thing.

Easy, I didn't mean to infer you were feeding them. Just please, don't worry about what they say. I'm having to keep a distance from a person who wraps herself with people wrapped in drama. (I used to be one myself). Distancing was harder than I thought it would be, but within seconds of meeting up with somebody from this part of my past, drama ensued. Or at least an attempt. So I sorta know what you're dealing with here. I suggest that you Just look at their forehead, smile blandly, and say either a bland hello or nothing at all.

[brainhi]

I think the friends might be trying to protect her..not that they are going about it the right way. Even if you were wonderful about the way the relationship ended, there is still pain..maybe the friends are seeing that pain and want to lash out at you. The most important thing is that you and her know how it ended and the rest does not matter - or it will not for very long.