[Phoenix1985]

I've been with the fiance for just over two years. We have a 10 month old together. In the last few months I've started being really insecure to the point were I can't even stand watching movies/tv shows with nudity/sex in them with him. I've lost the plot a couple of times over it. Two nights ago he was saying he's stopped watching tv/movies to show he cares for me, but then starts complaining about how he wants to be allowed to look at other womens titties/*****, and porn and how the ***** might be nice, titties firmer, skinnier etc but I'm his favourite because he's with me. Me on the other hand have made it known to him that I have no desire to look at other males whatsoever because I'm with him and completely happy with him. Now I feel so low and like I'm not enough because he wants/needs to look at other women. He knows how low it makes me feel. Help please :'(

[BrokenGlass]

Even the most faithful men enjoy pornagraphic things such as scenes we see in movies. I don't think it's something you need to worry about. It may help your confidence by watching with him, see what he likes and how he reacts to it, and then you try to do said action to him to change the pleasure from watching the scene to enjoying the pleasure you create. Stay strong

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[healingme4me]

Men are visual beings. That said, is there more to this, for you? Does he speak of women in a derogatory way? What's going on, that the thought of him, catching a glimpse of nude tatas, leaves you feeling not enough, for him?
Where did your self confidence go? Is it, motherhood that's sapping you?

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[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Men are visual beings. That said, is there more to this, for you? Does he speak of women in a derogatory way? What's going on, that the thought of him, catching a glimpse of nude tatas, leaves you feeling not enough, for him?
Where did your self confidence go? Is it, motherhood that's sapping you?
Add: when I asked where is self confidence, I mean...ten months ago, you just finished carrying a baby to term. Your a mom!!! Knowing now, what your body can do, cherish yourself, be gentle and kind.
Half of what you see, is airbrushed and edited...
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[waiting4]

Edited for content, and ability too! lol

Honestly, tho....if he isn't saying anything derogatory about the 'movie' girls and continues to tell you often you're the one he wants....then, it doesn't matter where he gets his appetite, as long as he eats at home.

That goes for you too, you know.....feel free to remind him!

[Phoenix1985]

Originally Posted by waiting4

Edited for content, and ability too! lol

Honestly, tho....if he isn't saying anything derogatory about the 'movie' girls and continues to tell you often you're the one he wants....then, it doesn't matter where he gets his appetite, as long as he eats at home.

That goes for you too, you know.....feel free to remind him!

That's the thing though - it bothers me that he gets turned on by other chicks and then uses me to get off. I've had exes not able to get the job done with me and finished off jacking off to porn. I don't have nay interest whatsoever in other males, only him and I wish he felt the same. And he only ever looks at skinny chicks with perfect bodies and I'm not like that. He knows I hate my body. According to him its ok cos hecant touch them. But in my experience it doesnt stop them thinking about the better chiuck while using me!

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Men are visual beings. That said, is there more to this, for you? Does he speak of women in a derogatory way? What's going on, that the thought of him, catching a glimpse of nude tatas, leaves you feeling not enough, for him?
Where did your self confidence go? Is it, motherhood that's sapping you?

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I used to be alright, but more often it seems like the second theirs tits in a movie nothing else around him exists. I can't even get a response if I talk to him. and I'm trying to be alright with it but everytime I start getting their he does something to put me right back at square one, like his little ***** about wanting to look at other women.

[waiting4]

Hmmm...not sure what to advise, other than sitting down and having a heart to heart, but I gather you've tried that. I can see you're frustrated and hurt and it is certainly understandable, given your reply to us.

Maybe counseling? Perhaps hearing it from someone else, might give your feelings and opinions the validity he obviously doesn't seem to appreciate now.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Phoenix1985

That's the thing though - it bothers me that he gets turned on by other chicks and then uses me to get off. I've had exes not able to get the job done with me and finished off jacking off to porn. I don't have nay interest whatsoever in other males, only him and I wish he felt the same. And he only ever looks at skinny chicks with perfect bodies and I'm not like that. He knows I hate my body. According to him its ok cos hecant touch them. But in my experience it doesnt stop them thinking about the better chiuck while using me!


I used to be alright, but more often it seems like the second theirs tits in a movie nothing else around him exists. I can't even get a response if I talk to him. and I'm trying to be alright with it but everytime I start getting their he does something to put me right back at square one, like his little ***** about wanting to look at other women.

Sounds like a combination of many things here. Your mentioning of feeling used, added to the past relationships you've had. The past, is certainly worth addressing. It's amplifying everything. Never mind, your current bf's, inability to show regard for how and why this is hurting you.

Perhaps, gives a feeling that intimacy is lacking? Not of sexual nature, but emotional intimacy. Lack of compassion.

What lousy past experiences, you seem to have had. Seems like it's left an impression, internally.

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[cjw2013]

http://www.getfrank.co.nz/dating-rom...d-cons-of-porn

I hope the URL I posted works. Good luck to you!

Cj