[LadyShadow]

So, I had pretty much given up on love. But I kept my OkCupid and Plenty of Fish accounts active, because in the back of my mind there was still some hope there. But I really had enough and I thought there was no one out there for me.

Then what do you know? Someone messages me. We talk laugh and chat for a while. Then he finally gives me his number and we have some great phone conversations. I didn't think much of it at first because our online messages were basically casual and were very "get to know you" type correspondences. But then when I heard his voice. WOW!

Anyway, the reason I am so nervous is that I am very self conscious. I feel very fat and ugly. What if he rejects me tomorrow? I showed him body shot pictures but what if my actual self is too fat? I know I am overanalyzing and probably panicking for nothing, but I am really scared. I can't take a rejection right now. I really can't. I am so afraid there won't be any chemistry. On his side I mean. I already know I like him. I am feeling it, but what if he doesn't?

Scared, sad and extra nervous right now. A hug would be nice!

[Ms.Beeblebrox]

Don't be nervous! I know it's easier said than done, but if it's meant to be it will be. Look at it this way, it's nice to go on a date, even if it's not going to become a long term relationship.

Plus, it's very recent trend to like super skinny chicks. Only fifty years ago plump girls were super popular!

Originally Posted by PlatinumHeart

So, I had pretty much given up on love. But I kept my OkCupid and Plenty of Fish accounts active, because in the back of my mind there was still some hope there. But I really had enough and I thought there was no one out there for me.

Then what do you know? Someone messages me. We talk laugh and chat for a while. Then he finally gives me his number and we have some great phone conversations. I didn't think much of it at first because our online messages were basically casual and were very "get to know you" type correspondences. But then when I heard his voice. WOW!

Anyway, the reason I am so nervous is that I am very self conscious. I feel very fat and ugly. What if he rejects me tomorrow? I showed him body shot pictures but what if my actual self is too fat? I know I am overanalyzing and probably panicking for nothing, but I am really scared. I can't take a rejection right now. I really can't. I am so afraid there won't be any chemistry. On his side I mean. I already know I like him. I am feeling it, but what if he doesn't?

Scared, sad and extra nervous right now. A hug would be nice!

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by Ms.Beeblebrox

Don't be nervous! I know it's easier said than done, but if it's meant to be it will be. Look at it this way, it's nice to go on a date, even if it's not going to become a long term relationship.

Plus, it's very recent trend to like super skinny chicks. Only fifty years ago plump girls were super popular!

Thanks so much! I feel a little better. Tried on some outfits, that don't make me look hideously fat lol.

It would be nice to go out on a date, I haven't been on one in ages. And he seems like a really nice guy

[wife22]

HI!
you are supposed to be nervous,you are a human being,but think about the fact that he might be as nervous as you are.He saw your pics,heard your voice and wanted to meet you,just as you did.Just be yourself and you'll win him,and even if nothing romantic comes out of it,you are already friends.Remember,you have as many chances to find a flaw in him as he has.So,go for it!enjoy the date!
in regards to being fat I can say only one thing,when I was skinny,no man would look at me,if anyone did-only with pity , as soon as I regained my normal wt I noticed the difference in the way they looked at me.My husband said once,woman supposed to be soft,not bony,of course there is a taste difference,but in general I wound that to be true.Love yourself,cherish yourself and people will see you and love what you love
good luck and all the best

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by PlatinumHeart

So, I had pretty much given up on love. But I kept my OkCupid and Plenty of Fish accounts active, because in the back of my mind there was still some hope there. But I really had enough and I thought there was no one out there for me.

Then what do you know? Someone messages me. We talk laugh and chat for a while. Then he finally gives me his number and we have some great phone conversations. I didn't think much of it at first because our online messages were basically casual and were very "get to know you" type correspondences. But then when I heard his voice. WOW!

Anyway, the reason I am so nervous is that I am very self conscious. I feel very fat and ugly. What if he rejects me tomorrow? I showed him body shot pictures but what if my actual self is too fat? I know I am overanalyzing and probably panicking for nothing, but I am really scared. I can't take a rejection right now. I really can't. I am so afraid there won't be any chemistry. On his side I mean. I already know I like him. I am feeling it, but what if he doesn't?

Scared, sad and extra nervous right now. A hug would be nice!

go 4 it!!

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by wife22

HI!
you are supposed to be nervous,you are a human being,but think about the fact that he might be as nervous as you are.He saw your pics,heard your voice and wanted to meet you,just as you did.Just be yourself and you'll win him,and even if nothing romantic comes out of it,you are already friends.Remember,you have as many chances to find a flaw in him as he has.So,go for it!enjoy the date!
in regards to being fat I can say only one thing,when I was skinny,no man would look at me,if anyone did-only with pity , as soon as I regained my normal wt I noticed the difference in the way they looked at me.My husband said once,woman supposed to be soft,not bony,of course there is a taste difference,but in general I wound that to be true.Love yourself,cherish yourself and people will see you and love what you love
good luck and all the best

Thanks for the wonderful advice! He does want to meet me, I think I won him over with my personality. I'm just really nervous. Would really like this to work out

Good luck for your date! I'm sure it'll go well

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by herpoorsoul

Good luck for your date! I'm sure it'll go well

Thanks! I appreciate the comment.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by trying2survive

go 4 it!!

I will!

Originally Posted by PlatinumHeart

Thanks! I appreciate the comment.

No problem Keep us posted!

[ptangptang]

I could have written your first paragraph. Then i messaged someone on okcupid and we hit it off straight away. We skyped and emailed and talked and she even wrote me letters (which i loved- thanks darling). Whats stopping you from skyping just to get over that initial embarassment. My self esteem and body image ain't great but you are what you are. If the other person doesn't like it then that's their problem. I would say there has be some initial attraction but relationships are much more than just appearance and those that are based on that only won't last long. People like all sorts of body types and shapes and naked we all have the same bits. Think of all the lovely ladies with voluptuous bodies in pre-raphelite art you can see that the idea of the perfect woman changes. Who says you're fat and ugly . ONLY YOU. You are judging yourself and that is crazy. Don't be scared, sad or nervous. Be excited, happy and confidant. If you have come this far i'm sure that everything will be fine. Enjoy it. Let him do the manly thing and spoil you rotten. Enjoy each others company and the nerves will disappear and you will wonder why you were so worried. Have a great time.

[kipper-bang]

Hi,

Nerves are normal. I've been married twice, 22yrs, 14yrs, and had a long term relationship of 8yrs; as well as a few short relationships, and I can tell you I was nervous every time. One thing I learned is that looks had absolutely nothing to do with how each relationship worked out. The real good looking guys treated me badly and had no real personality because they let looks carry them.

The guys who were lacking in looks but spent more time on improving their personalities, were a joy to be with and live with. A woman's body size is only a problem for those guys with no personality or life experience. Those people are not worth your time - seriously.

So go on your date and enjoy your time. If it does not work out, don't worry. Laugh it over with your female friends and put it down to experience. Good Luck x

[trying2survive]

sooooo.....how did that date turn out??

[Raindropvampire]

We've chatted and you are a wonderful person. I'm sure you are more beautiful than you are even aware of. I am a big girl always have been but I've never let that hold me back. You can be beautiful at any size. You are intelligent and have a great personality. Unless he's a moron he has to like you Sorry I haven't been here but I got really sick and missed a couple days. Can't wait to hear how your date went. Wishing you all the happiness in the world

Hey hun!

How have you been? We're all dying to know how your date went (which was a success, I'm sure ).

Hope all is well with you!

[LadyShadow]

Well to let you all know, the date never went through. His idea of a first date was sitting in a parked car watching the rain. That raised several red flags for me, and I wasn't about to get trapped with a guy I never met before.

I called him out on his bullcrap, and he didn't return my call. He called me today and was busy. He seems to be making excuses not to meet me since I asserted myself as not being "loose". He seems to be after one thing and I am not going to let him push me into that!

Originally Posted by PlatinumHeart

Well to let you all know, the date never went through. His idea of a first date was sitting in a parked car watching the rain. That raised several red flags for me, and I wasn't about to get trapped with a guy I never met before.

I called him out on his bullcrap, and he didn't return my call. He called me today and was busy. He seems to be making excuses not to meet me since I asserted myself as not being "loose". He seems to be after one thing and I am not going to let him push me into that!

I'm so sorry. That's a good thing you've done for yourself: people can't use you if you don't allow it. You have every right to be proud for being assertive too. You recognize what you deserve & didn't wait until it was too late.

For you:

[ptangptang]

I'm sorry it didn't work out. This guy sounds like a loser so move on. Funny how your experiences mirror mine. I messaged someone on Okcupid and we sent messages back and forth and i thought we were getting on fine. We arranged a date and i had it all planned ( not sitting in a car watching the rain though that has it's place on the dating timeline i'm sure ) and ,though i say it myself, i think she would have loved it. Then at nearly the last minute she thought i was being too familiar and complimentary to her and pulled out. Jeez what do women want.
Anyway i met someone else and as they say we are 'getting it on'. So don't give up. It's his loss i'm sure. Lots of nice guys out there. LOve and peace.

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by PlatinumHeart

Well to let you all know, the date never went through. His idea of a first date was sitting in a parked car watching the rain. That raised several red flags for me, and I wasn't about to get trapped with a guy I never met before.

I called him out on his bullcrap, and he didn't return my call. He called me today and was busy. He seems to be making excuses not to meet me since I asserted myself as not being "loose". He seems to be after one thing and I am not going to let him push me into that!

oh geez...yeah, don't expect to hear back from this one! I had one guy I dated a couple of times. Stopped hearing from him, as I, um, well...didn't put out...

What a loser!

[wife22]

Good riddance for you and great loss for him !
You deserve a mature man ....(hugs)