[shrodingerscat]

So I just joined yesterday & did a brief intro but I didn't go into much detail. (My therapist pointed out that I do that when I feel uncomfortable talking about a subject.) I mentioned in my first post that my sister had died. The main issue that I'm having right now is with my mother. She's been living with my sister for the past 6 years, basically rent-free and unemployed. My sister was never happy with her living there but she was too nice to ever make her leave. Now that my sister is gone, my mother has her sights set in my direction. I've made it clear that she can't stay with me & my husband until she gets a job so that she can get her own place. But it's all met with annoyance and frustration. She even sent me a scathing email complaining that I really hurt her feeling because I didn't want to take financial responsibility for her. She's only 62 years old and I do plan on eventually taking her in when my husband & I are done with school, but we simply don't have the space or the money to take on a 3rd person.

Can someone direct me to a forum for dealing with family issues like this?

[hvert]

I am not sure that there is a better place to post than here (but there could be some place that I haven't discovered yet). I'm sorry that your sister died and that you are confronted with this situation with your mother. I can't imagine someone trying to persuade me to support them by telling me what an awful person I am if I don't let them move in. Good luck with keeping firm boundaries.

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by shrodingerscat

So I just joined yesterday & did a brief intro but I didn't go into much detail. (My therapist pointed out that I do that when I feel uncomfortable talking about a subject.) I mentioned in my first post that my sister had died. The main issue that I'm having right now is with my mother. She's been living with my sister for the past 6 years, basically rent-free and unemployed. My sister was never happy with her living there but she was too nice to ever make her leave. Now that my sister is gone, my mother has her sights set in my direction. I've made it clear that she can't stay with me & my husband until she gets a job so that she can get her own place. But it's all met with annoyance and frustration. She even sent me a scathing email complaining that I really hurt her feeling because I didn't want to take financial responsibility for her. She's only 62 years old and I do plan on eventually taking her in when my husband & I are done with school, but we simply don't have the space or the money to take on a 3rd person.

Can someone direct me to a forum for dealing with family issues like this?

i know that is your mother..and i am sure you love her, but taking her in with an attitude like that is going to create huge problems..i can see it already.
does your mother have any brothers and sisters she could live with? i for one could absolutely not live with my mother again, that would be a non starter for me.

if you don't have the space, what will change when you guys are done with school? i do believe there must be another solution, if she lived off your sister for 6 years what is going to stop her from trying to pull that with you guys??

if you let her in, i believe you will have hell of a time getting her back out.
i really believe you are looking at real trouble here