[jesusplay]

We've been talking recently and I moved back home. I go to meet her and I can't believe it's the same person! I mean she was never skinny but had a great shape. Last week we hung out and she said I looked fat, I was hurt. I lost my point, were both fat i guess.

[namastewoman]

As someone that went from 130 pounds to 220 pounds because of antidepressants, I completely understand. This is life and I wonder if we have to start changing our preferences for dates.

[Sabrina]

Recently I reconnected with a friend after 23 years and she came to visit for a week. I warned her on our many text chats that I was now fat. She totally accepted me as if I were the same person back then. She completely saw through the fat. I am very grateful.

[jadzea]

jesusplay - So what is your point?

[unaluna]

As the old joke goes, "HOW FAT WAS SHE??!"

Youre both still young. If you like each other, you can build a life together. Help each other accomplish your goals. Start off going on walking and picnic dates, not bar and drinking dates.

[yumi]

Who cares if she is fat now? What matters is the person on the inside.

[soccerdad]

Originally Posted by jadzea

jesusplay - So what is your point?

I kind of agree. If she is overweight to the point of being unhealthy and you're concerned then ok but how does her weight gain hurt you? Were you expecting to connect romantically with her and you're disappointed that she's gained weight?

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by jesusplay

Last week we hung out and she said I looked fat, I was hurt.

I lost my point, were both fat i guess.

I read this, with the impression, that you were willing to look past this. Yet, she pointed out your own weight gain?

Understandably, who wouldn't feel a bit put off by something, of that nature.

Is my impression, close to what happened?

[jesusplay]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

I read this, with the impression, that you were willing to look past this. Yet, she pointed out your own weight gain?

Understandably, who wouldn't feel a bit put off by something, of that nature.

Is my impression, close to what happened?

somewhat

[healingme4me]

Pot calling the kettle black?

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

[eskielover]

Well if you are both thinking that of each other.....they living back in the same town.....it gives you each a partner to go out & exercise with....walking, gym, or exercising at each others house...& each other to hold each other accountable......that usually helps rather than harms IMO.

[recoverinxsurvivin]

being "overweight" doesn't mean you are unhealthy. who cares if she has gained some weight. it's none of your concern. just because you put on a few pounds doesn't mean "your letting go of yourself" I consider myself somewhat chubby. I am starting to fall inlove with my body, and not let what others think get to me. It doesn't matter. weight doesn't define your beauty, or who you are as a person. if shes really your friend, and you genuinely care about her. I would suggest you forget about her weight. We live in such a vain materialistic world. It's disgusting, and It makes me sick. Did you become her friend because she was skinny? didn't think so.

[allme]

Originally Posted by recoverinxsurvivin

being "overweight" doesn't mean you are unhealthy. who cares if she has gained some weight. it's none of your concern. just because you put on a few pounds doesn't mean "your letting go of yourself" I consider myself somewhat chubby. I am starting to fall inlove with my body, and not let what others think get to me. It doesn't matter. weight doesn't define your beauty, or who you are as a person. if shes really your friend, and you genuinely care about her. I would suggest you forget about her weight. We live in such a vain materialistic world. It's disgusting, and It makes me sick. Did you become her friend because she was skinny? didn't think so.

Yeah people can be so shallow

[avlady]

i also gained alot of weight from an operation and the meds didn't help either. the strange thing is i used to be anorexic, but now i weigh 200 lbs. i even like being bigger, i feel like i even look better big. i would like to lose 20 lbs although. i hope your friend can see past your weight and see you from the inside first.

[hvert]

I found this sort of surprising too when I would meet up with old friends from high school or college -- we'd all gotten fat! I guess it is one of those things that just happens. Kind of rude of her to point out how fat you'd gotten, though.

[brainhi]

I think it depends on what you value. If you value not being overweight and are attracted to those that are not overweight - romantically then that is your preference. I would like to think you still like "who that person is" and that it is
reciprocated. I know of those that are attracted to thin people and those that are attracted to a "full" body. Just be who you are. If you have a desire to lose weight - do it..but do it for yourself not for someone else - if that someone else goes away...
do you gain that weight back???

[jadzea]

Eskie,
Why do you assume the friend wants an exercise buddy? Maybe they already have an exercise routine. Maybe they have tried numerous programs with no success. True, health care providers are concerned about the obesity epidemic in the US but many practitioners are stressing that the person's size is not important as long as they live a healthy lifestyle and are healthy. Sadly, as we learn more about metabolism, hunger, internal eating controls and individual physiology we are also learning that weight loss is not reasonably achievable for all some people. Infact, putiing people on strict diets causes more problems than it solves. A diet does not solve anything but can result in depression, eating disorders, slowed down metabolism, distorted thoughts about food and many more negative factors that interfere with someone being able to develop a healthy relationship with food and exercise.

Just because someone is overweight does not mean they want help from anyone. I'm sure they have received more than enough unwanted help from many, many sources and really just want to be left alone and allowed to live a happy life without constantly worrying about their weight.