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#1
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**A slight SI trigger**
I hope that this can go here in the forums. A little about me before I get to my main point: I hate making friends. I prefer to be alone 95% of my time. I am not attracted to anyone, men or women. I hate romance and commitment, etc. Ok, now that that is gone. I go to group therapy 2 days per week and I hate it. I have had 2 guys hit on me. I had one woman hit on me a while ago. Recently, I had another woman hit on me and ask me out. In group, I never talked to her. She asked me about job searching one day and I gave her a website. She said she couldn't find it and asked if I could add her on Facebook. I reluctantly agreed. I am very picky about who I add on facebook. I thought I would give her the job search websites and be done, no longer communicate. Well, that night, she said she liked me and asked me out. I declined of course. I am sick of being hit on. I dress in loose women's jeans and a loose men's t-shirt. I dress in clothes that should be unattractive and I still get hit on!! My body is not attractive either, so, I don't get it. If you have advice on how to dress unattractively, please let me know!! I feel so stupid for letting her get on my Facebook friend's list. I still have her there only because she said she respected my decision. But, I am paranoid. She is either going to leave me alone or she will try to get close to me and be my friend and try to be more, which I don't want. I don't like getting close to anyone. I enjoy my freedom, privacy, time alone. I feel like I am being smothered. I can't breathe. I have no air. I need to run away, escape, anything to get away. This 4th time of being hit on has gotten to me. I have been extremely irritable and angry. I have been crying on and off. I am getting frustrated and angry with everything very easily now. I plan to skip group therapy this week, and maybe next week too. When I go back, I will have to change the way I dress and the days that I go. I want to flee the area, leave, tell no one where I am going. I feel like hurting myself. I am seriously shutting down. I have been having a hard time showering now. I can barely eat. My stomach has been having a lot of pain. I can barely talk to any friends. I rarely do to begin with, but I feel the need to cut them all off for a longer time than usual. I am really having a hard time functioning. I know, I am overreacting, but, I seriously can't help it. If I don't figure out how to cope, I will probably end up in the hospital all because of something that should not have happened to me. I can't deal with this. I seriously can't. I am so tired of everything and I can't sleep. I feel like there is nothing left in me. I am hallowed out. |
#2
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Hi Cynical. Sounds like that encounter is causing anxiety. I think being a loner is ok if that is really what you want. You may want to decide what your boundaries are with other people.
You can also visit the relationship forum for ideas. |
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