[sleepycrow]

My boyfriend, our mutual friend, and I have all been good friends for a good deal of time, but I always feel like I'm kind of... getting the short end of the stick among the three of us. I tend to get the last say in what we do together, I get ignored/overlooked a lot, and they just... seem to have more mutual interests and more to talk about. It's like they genuinely prefer each other's company over mine, and when we're together and they start talking about the things they've discussed without me or start joking and chatting I just shut right down. They have a history together, which doesn't help my feelings of insecurity. I wonder a lot if they'd just be happier together with me out of the picture; I don't mean that in a suicidal sense, but simply that I feel as though it'd be better if I just went away. I've been finding myself really wanting to just spend time alone lately or with other friends, because I feel so inferior and unwanted otherwise.

I don't really know what to do. I guess I'm just venting; it's just hard to feel like I don't really matter to the people around me and I'm not really sure what to do without raising tensions.

[Travelinglady]

Hi, sleepycrow, and welcome to Psych Central! Alas, a threesome can be a hard kind of relationship. Often one person does seem sort of left out. And, as you say, the other folks have a history together.

My thought is that you should try to hang in there with the other two, but also start looking around for one or more folks to start hanging out with.

[atomicc]

Hi sleepycrow, welcome to PC! It does make it rather difficult when the two of them have had a history together. Have you tried talking to them about it? Letting them know you'd like to be more included in their inside jokes? Maybe talk to your boyfriend and let him know how you feel.
I hope you will find a way to solve this!

[profound_betrayal]

sleepycrow, I agree with travelinglady.
Try 'putting other eggs in your basket'. You may need the diversion/support if the two continue that way. Also - > work on yourself as well. Your boyfriend seems to be taking you for granted, and acting that way because he can. Don't take it - plan for your well being.

Originally Posted by sleepycrow

My boyfriend, our mutual friend, and I have all been good friends for a good deal of time, but I always feel like I'm kind of... getting the short end of the stick among the three of us. I tend to get the last say in what we do together, I get ignored/overlooked a lot, and they just... seem to have more mutual interests and more to talk about. It's like they genuinely prefer each other's company over mine, and when we're together and they start talking about the things they've discussed without me or start joking and chatting I just shut right down. They have a history together, which doesn't help my feelings of insecurity. I wonder a lot if they'd just be happier together with me out of the picture; I don't mean that in a suicidal sense, but simply that I feel as though it'd be better if I just went away. I've been finding myself really wanting to just spend time alone lately or with other friends, because I feel so inferior and unwanted otherwise.

I don't really know what to do. I guess I'm just venting; it's just hard to feel like I don't really matter to the people around me and I'm not really sure what to do without raising tensions.

[Alone & confused]

Welcome to PC. I just can't believe that you posted EXACTLY the way I've been feeling! I've been saying the same thing! Except my bf has a whole network of friends (which I don't like!) And I literally have only a couple of friends. So, if you ever want to talk, I'm sure I'll be "left behind" here with nothing but time on my hands. I hope things get better for you!