[pfeffa]

good evening everybody.

i was hoping to gain some insight and advice regarding asking my significant other for support dealing with my depression. i have been a mess lately, and he is tired of me being depressed. he has been patient and supportive, but when i want to talk about things like feeling unfulfilled for not having children (he has a 22 year old daughter), he ends up repeating that he doesn't want kids. i know that, but maybe i haven't accepted it? at any rate, he now feels insulted that i am bored with him. i am so sad.

[kaliope]

sounds like you really need to talk about this to deal with your depression but it is not a topic that he is willing to discuss. you need somebody who is more neutral and able to discuss it with you. because it is a dream of yours, something that you need to grieve if you are going to stay in this relationship and that takes talking about it. but he is not able to deal with it, it is a hot button for him. so maybe a friend or a therapist is a better person to get all these feelings out to. you need to process them. it is important for your healing. find someone you can share them with. somebody who is willing to listen compassionately and nonjudgementally. take care.

[ChipperMonkey]

I think that the kids issue is a major one, as in if one partner wants kids and the other doesn't, then it is more than enough to cause major resentment and tear the two of you apart. I know I couldn't be with someone who had to have kids as I'm not sure if I will be healthy enough to have my own and give them the best mom possible. If someone told me that they needed kids to be fulfilled, I would need to let them go. I think it is a bit selfish, perhaps egotistical to think that he should be enough for you and that you shouldn't want kids. I also think that kids should be wanted by both parents, not just one of them. This guy doesn't sound like he would be a good dad, even if he reluctantly agreed to give you a child.