[JosephineM]

I don´t trust men anymore. I am 31, in month 32 years old, transgender and very disappointed with men in trust and sex life. Men in my country are very selfish, goal of sex is their orgasm, if I had orgasm - they don´t care at all. And I am tired of that. I am tired of them to not understand, that I wouldn´t wear make up, skirts, heels etc., that I won´t be fulfilling their sexual fantasies. I liked sex very much, I masturbate a lot, because I simply need that, as much as men. I have several vibrators. But men here are very sexist.

I take pills for deppression and pills for sleep. I am bipolar, don´t like talking with people much, I have very intellectual hobbies. I have social phobia, anxiety issues, I am hard introvert, I read a lot. I don´t like being among people, but I miss human touch, man´s body, with that problem, that I wish to be man myself. I don´t feel like a woman, I hate my woman´s body and I like men (but mainly "older" men to add to "fun of my life" - I love Alan Rickman and Robert Carlyle e.g.). I never was on men my age.

I am overweight, not attractive in any way. I didn´t date on high school, I never dated normally, I had sexual relationships and one of them grew to be normal from his initiative and even lasted 3 years. But I really have no idea, how to function in relationship.

I don´t believe that anyone will ever love me.

Sorry for english, it´s not my mother language. I am from Czech republic.

[glok]

Hello, JosephineM. As Henry Ford said: "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right." Perhaps, an attitude adjustment will help?

[JosephineM]

Originally Posted by glok

Hello, JosephineM. As Henry Ford said: "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right." Perhaps, an attitude adjustment will help?

I was practically never asked on a date, normally.

Originally Posted by JosephineM

I don´t trust men anymore. I am 31, in month 32 years old, transgender and very disappointed with men in trust and sex life. Men in my country are very selfish, goal of sex is their orgasm, if I had orgasm - they don´t care at all. And I am tired of that. I am tired of them to not understand, that I wouldn´t wear make up, skirts, heels etc., that I won´t be fulfilling their sexual fantasies. I liked sex very much, I masturbate a lot, because I simply need that, as much as men. I have several vibrators. But men here are very sexist.

I take pills for deppression and pills for sleep. I am bipolar, don´t like talking with people much, I have very intellectual hobbies. I have social phobia, anxiety issues, I am hard introvert, I read a lot. I don´t like being among people, but I miss human touch, man´s body, with that problem, that I wish to be man myself. I don´t feel like a woman, I hate my woman´s body and I like men (but mainly "older" men to add to "fun of my life" - I love Alan Rickman and Robert Carlyle e.g.). I never was on men my age.

I am overweight, not attractive in any way. I didn´t date on high school, I never dated normally, I had sexual relationships and one of them grew to be normal from his initiative and even lasted 3 years. But I really have no idea, how to function in relationship.

I don´t believe that anyone will ever love me.

Sorry for english, it´s not my mother language. I am from Czech republic.

Hello JosephineM: I'm sorry you're experiencing such despair. (By the way, I'm a 66 year old male. And, although I never transitioned, I've always felt female inside.) So we have something in common! I post quite a bit in the Transgender forum. You can read my posts there if you want to.

I know from many of the posts I have read here on PC that there are many people here who feel they will never be loved. I think it is often a part of depression. I am fortunate in that I am married, although since I am transgendered, being married does also present its own problems.

You wrote that your hobbies are intellectual. Would you care to share some of what they are? There are many wonderful people here on PC. Of course, it's not real life. But it's not bad either. I spend allot of time here and get great satisfaction from the interaction I have with other PC'ers. I hope you will find the time you spend here to be beneficial too.

[DSM-3.1415926]

Sorry to hear you're feeling so bad. One idea: Consider meeting potential lovers in "nonstandard" places. For example, you say you read a lot. Does your public library hold book discussion groups or similar social events? Are there any clubs covering your other hobbies?

In my case, I would have been a complete failure in bars, discos, nightclubs and dating services ... but met my wife in a bank queue.

As for weight, no man of quality will find this a barrier to attractiveness. In fact, I know one woman who deliberately posted her honest weight on an online dating service to screen out those who'd be offended by it. The man who made it through has been happily married to her for a long time now.

Many 's to you.