[Mahew]

So after of a year of what i thought was a healthy loving relationship turned out to be a truckload of problems, so my now ex girlfriend and i were happy for a long time but towards the end she started to get moody and lost interest to see me at all, this messed things up a lot.

After not seeing her for weeks at a time we drifted apart and arguments always sprang up about not having time etc, i could go on about this for ages but i want to get to the real problem.

Now my ex has been messaging my friends saying that im being a **** and a horrible guy and making me look like the break up was my fault, i still loved the girl and still have strong feelings towards her but shes hates me now, we've been on breaks before but the last was different she didnt even give me a chance to fix things between us, but now my friends have taken her side and no longer want to talk to me, this is very awkward because some of my friends like me and others don't im just really sad and confused and angry and it making me take my anger out on my friends which causes more problems, i go to school with all these guys and all my ex's friends and friends of my friends so this causes alot of tension and stress i don't know the next move to make and how to get my best friends back? any help would be appreciated

Sincerely, Mahew

[Altered Moment]

I am really sorry she is handling it that way. Maybe try explaining things to these friends from your side of it. Do it rationally without trashing her. Like ....this is what really happened.

[Rose76]

What she is doing is totally not cool, and I'm surprised that she's getting so much support. If you have "friends" who are not talking to you, then those aren't friends. Friends will talk to you, even when they think you are wrong. And no one outside the relationship is really in a position to judge.

It sounds like you brought more commitment to this relationship than she did. Couples have to resolve problems between themselves, not by conducting a referendum among their friends. Caring friends will be the first to remind a couple of this. These acquaintances of yours sound like they just want to be part of some drama.

Maybe the best thing you can do is nothing. For those who still are speaking with you, you could express that you are saddened to be going through a falling out with someone you care deeply about and wish you could resolve the issue with her. But don't get real defensive and bad-mouth her. Take the high ground, and don't feed in to the scuttlebutt. It'll die down sooner that way. Cultivate the few most loyal friends you can find, and disregard the rest for now.

This whole unhappy situation may be a sign that this relationship is not meant to be.

I'm sorry. I wouldn't try to fix this at all.

I won't say what I see in your posting, but you're quite lucky that you're no longer together (in my opinion).

There is no need to explain yourself to your friends. If they ask, tell them the truth (your REAL friends will ask....). Don't feed the drama and her need to be the center of attention.