[bqm12]

There are two guys, I love them both. I won't get into detail about the conflict, it would take forever to describe. So here goes the short version.

Two people have told me that they love me. That they can't live without me. Each day they think about me and can't concentrate on daily functions.

I've gone out with one of them but broke up with me twice because he thought I was a better match for the other guys- who in which case is his nephew. He seemed fine to let me go and I wasn't feeling any good about it. The next day though he was crying and regretting everything. I did have feelings for his nephew but never really thought of us being together. I have spent the majority of my time with both of them so they both know me very well.

Right now I'm being forced to make a decision on who I should be with. One of them is telling me that if I don't end up with him then its best if we cut all ties. That hurts me greatly because he is a big part of my life and the friendship that we had, he isnt willing to keep.

On the other hand the other guy seems to get into a depressed and pessimistic state. Calling himself trash and thinking his life is over. It hurts me to see that.

Both have really had an impact on my life but I can't decide and I can't make a positive decision yet. My time limit is coming close and I'm still stuck between them. They didn't seem to understand how difficult it is to make a decision.

One last thing. I read this quote that made sense to me I'm not sure if its something I should go by.

"If your in love with two men, then chose the second guy because if you really loved the first guy then you wouldn't have fallen for the second."

Sometimes I feel this is true but I can't help but think of them both as equals in my heart. I'm so confused and tired of cryig over this. Tired of hurting them. I just want an answer.

[Travelinglady]

Hello, bqm12, and welcome to Psych Central! I am not going to give you an expected answer. I suggest you not have a "boyfriend" relationship with either one. The situation is so conflicted, and I don't think quite "normal." If they chose not to even be friends any more after you tell them, then that will be sad, but at least your dilemma will be solved.

[~Christina]

You need to step back away from both of them. Maybe you should not be with either of them ?

Who made a time limit ? You? or one or both of the other guys?

It would probably be helpful for you to see a therapist to help you sort out this confusing situation.

Take care

[bqm12]

I've thought about that plenty of times. To move on from them. There is though another barrier. I'm homeless and they are both offering me a home of comfort but its to difficult. I feel very insignificant because they both have done so much for me and I've only been giving them heavy hearts. They won't let me go cause they can't see me destroy what I've been trying to create for myself. A better future. It just makes things a lot i difficult to let them go. I feel like I'm the inly had person here. thank you so much for the advice. I appreciate it a lot.