So after a year and a couple months of being together me and my boyfriend broke up and it wasn't a mutual thing. We have been fighting since the end of February because he lied to me about talking to someone and that someone was a girl. I didn't snoop and didn't look up anything but he did lead me to it. Literally lead me to it. Kinda sucked a lot. Hurt me really bad. After that we started fighting a lot. Little fights at first then they got really big and bad and it's been hard to deal with since. Last week he broke up with me over the phone while we were talking and I believe, though he doesn't agree, that I convinced him to stay. He said he rational side said because of the fighting we shouldn't be together. We have been telling each other for our entire relationship how we're going to get married and spend our lives together. We don't live together because currently we are screwed with living with out parents. I'm trying so hard to find a job with my degree and he does have a job. Yesterday we got into again. He got a lot of money from school and after helping me a little won't help me out anymore. He says he's saving it to prove to himself that he can save money and not waste it all. I do understand his point but I would give anything to him. I actually have done so when I got my money and when I was working at a good job and he wasn't but he doesn't seem to get that. Yesterday I believed he should have given me money and that's what started the whole thing. I believe we should be one because that's what we've always said we were gonna be. We would share everything and I have been feeling like he doesn't tell me things. I feel like we barely know each other. We again yesterday he broke up with me. He told me he didn't want it. That was it and then I got out of the car and walked away. We didn't talk for several hours after that until I texted him that I would drop off his stuff tomorrow (today). He said to keep it all. That got us into a conversation. It was long and it was detailed. Last forth of July I hurt him in a physical way because I was very drunk, I mean I blacked out don't remember hurting him drunk way, and he still hasn't forgive me for that. I don't really drink anymore and the only time I do is when I'm with in and the most is about four beers. I know maybe that makes him a little anxious so I should stop. I do want this to work out but I'm not sure anymore. We talked on the phone and he said he wanted to try again with me. I didn't beg this time. I told him maybe it was best if we gave it a week of not seeing each other to decide what to do. Today we've been talking and come up with some type of solution to our fighting. Promising that this will be the last time we try, promising that we will forgive each other for the past and letting it go, promising to not be mean when we do fight, because we all know that's inevitable. So here I am, coming up with plans to make this work with him and yet I feel destroyed. My heart hurts so bad and all I want to do is cry and be alone curled up. My family, who I live with, don't want me to be with him anymore because he's hurt me. They think our beliefs are to different and because I'm bipolar he doesn't get it. I have co-dependency issues and I don't think I've ever been alone in my life and that's an issue for me. I'm nearly thirty and so he is and I just don't know what to do. We say we're going to work on it but I hate hearing this is the last time we're going to work on it and that was what he told me, not something I came up with. As for me I don't know. I a lot of people will say that I need to be alone to get to know myself but with him, well with him I swear I have never loved anyone like this. No one in my life has ever made me want to be a better person. Made me want to get a good job and be able to move in together. That's what I want. I want to be with him, I want to make it work. But somewhere in me I don't know if it is a good idea. I hate being hurt, I hate the feel I felt yesterday. The emptiness like there was a part missing. I don't know if that's my co-dependance or what but I know that it's killing me to not know what to do. If we take a break I don't think we'll get back together and that hurts me thinking that as well. I need suggestions. I need help. I hate my therapist so I don't want to talk to her about any of this but maybe someone on here can give me a good answer or know some thing I don't. May be have done through the same situation. Please?

[kaliope]

reread this post and tell me what you wrote that is positive about the relationship...and him making you want to be a better person isnt positive, it is codependent which isnt healthy. there doesnt seem to be much healthy about this relationship. try a pro and con list. side by side list all the good things about the relationship and then list all the negative unhealthy things about the relationship. which list is longer. be honest about it. make a decison based on the list. are the good things worth living thru the bad? think about it. take care.

[Reptarrr]

The simplest answer I can give to such a complicated issue is that forcing things accomplishes nothing. If you've got to convince him to stick around, then he shouldn't be sticking around.

My best advice would be to simply let things play their natural course for a while. Drop any arguments you currently have, any issues you have with each other, and just hang out. If you can't manage that without fighting, then there are deeper issues than just what you've listed.

Also, in no way do I mean this to be offensive, but the fact that you immediately attempted to justify yourself after claiming to have been "led to" his conversations with said other, then odds are you're lying to us and yourself in some way.

Hope some of this helps, good luck.