[Louisa91]

Hey guys,

I apologize in advance for the length of the post.

I've been diagnosed with Bipolar II Disorder and adult ADHD, and have major anxiety and sleep disturbances as a result.
This of course has interfered with my studies (I'm a university student), I could barely go to any classes at all, it got so bad I missed all of them by the semester's end. But I still studied at home with the material they provide on the student website which they discuss in class.

I have recently written exams and was put on Wellbutrin to try and help with my sleeping problem (specifically the fact that I cannot wake up, regardless of what I try). Unfortunately I had horrible side-effects and I couldn't even think straight. I had trouble coming up with words I use in my every day life!

And as my horrible luck would have it my best subject's exam was in the morning at 8 am and the best they could do was let me write at 9 am (keep in mind that the average time I was able to wake up was around midday.)
So the combination of that and the Wellbutrin caused me to fail horribly.

I had 3 modules and passed 1 out of the 3.

Now here's my problem, my father knows nothing of mental illness or anything related to it. And I have not exactly ever been my mother's favourite, along with the fact that my older sister (who is indeed my mother's favourite) has diffused large B-cell lymphoma.

So after hearing how "well" it went with my exams, my parents both told me that I have no one to blame, but myself. And that they want to pull me out of university and have me study through a distance-learning college, that doesn't offer my major at all, while looking for a job. Either that or just starting work. This when I still can't wake up in the mornings anyway.

My older sister has finished her first degree in psychology and realized she couldn't do anything just with that here so she is studying a second degree in chartered accountancy. So I hope you can see why I feel mistreated?

My mother would say that she is so proud of me for keeping at it and that she would never be able to do what I do the one moment, and the next I'm worthless, useless, and just wasting her time. I've had a lot of emotional abuse from my mother since I was in grade 4 (We had moved the year before and for some reason her demeanor towards me just changed and she started favouring my sister above everyone, especially me.), but I've accepted that by now.
But now my parents are putting my future in jeopardy.

So I'm asking for anyone's advice on the matter.
I have tried letting my psychiatrist phone my parents to explain to them the extent of my condition to make them understand, but at the same time my psychiatrist wants to have me admitted to a psychiatric hospital (which I not only feel guilty about because of our financial issues due to my sister's cancer, but I have been there before and I personally think it just makes you more frail to the outside world. You're in a weakened state when you check out and everything is overwhelming.)
Regardless, my parents have thus far ignored her calls anyway.

How can I talk to my parents about this? My father doesn't understand what its like and brushes it off as laziness, doesn't listen and avoids confrontation in general.
And my mother thinks I'm a lazy (excuse my language, but I'm using a direct quote) "*****" and anytime I try to confront or talk to her about anything, especially her treatment of me, she either digresses and picks something else to blame me for, goes on about how she "is the bad guy again" or babbles on without hearing a word I say.

I'm at my wits end, I really don't know what to do anymore.
I have no one else who I can turn to so I have no choice but to make my parents understand what I'm going through, or move away, start working and forget about studying.
And I don't know whether that would ruin my life or better it, but I do have aspirations and unfortunately they require a university degree.

Can anyone help me?

[Travelinglady]

Hello, Louisa91, and welcome to Psych Central! I am so sorry you have to deal with the ignorance and abuse of your parents on top of everything else. I honestly don't know what to suggest for changing their minds.

What does your therapist say about the situation? If you don't have one, then see if you can get one to talk to.

It also sounds like you need to tell your psychiatrist as soon as possible what the med is doing to you. There are many, many other meds available. I also suggest you tell him about how you feel about the hospital experience--and ask that if you go, then he see about med changes/adjustments while you are there and allow you to talk to the social worker/therapist who would be available. (At least a social worker has been available at all the hospitals I have been in.) Maybe some other professional could try to intervene on your behalf, too.

You'd think your sister with a degree in psychology would know about mental illnesses and take your side. I guess she doesn't want to make your parents mad?

Aren't there other online schools that might offer your degree?

I hope I have helped some. Maybe somebody else will have some suggestions. I sure hope things will get better for you soon.

[winter4me]

Do talk to the doc., there are other meds that might help.
Any chance of night school? An evening shift job? (I know that helped me when I was young and in a place of panic & insomnia...--but later could sleep in the day)
Moving out? It is scary, but if you can begin to depend more on yourself, less on your parents, it will be very difficult but worth it...
I tend to agree re: the hospitalization, at least from what you have said.

[Louisa91]

Thanks for the replies. And no, I don't have a therapist (the last one I had kind of left me hanging when I needed her, she was the one who suggested I take a break from university the first time and she'd write a letter to the university explaining my situation and then she just hopped off out of the country without saying a word.)

I'm off the meds, and that's one of the reasons I suppose that my psychiatrist wants to have me hospitalized.

I have also looked at other schools, online and otherwise, none offer my course
And I have indeed seriously been considering moving out, as in from under their influence as a whole. Although this would mean giving up on my more realistic dreams of becoming a researcher in the genetics fields.

Its sad that the only solution I see at the moment requires the hospital trip regardless, either that or dropping everything completely and uprooting myself to gain independence.