[Mayson]

Guys, I need some help here.

So there is this girl that is crazy obsessed over me. She is clingy, suffocating, and frankly, it's draining me.
There is this dance place, and I like going there. I've gone there almost six months again, and never has there been any real issues. Recently, there has been this girl who is crazy over me. I don't like it, I want it to stop, and it is taking the fun out of this place that I love.

She managed to get my number, and she calls me cute and attractive every single time there is any sort of communicating. From a guy who has never been in a relationship before (I used to be ugly, and trust me, I mean it), puberty has been a weird time. Perhaps it would have been good to mention I'm 16, and she is 14, almost 15.

The last thing I want to do is hurt her. This has happened before with a girl who was crazy obsessed over me, but it died out as soon as I figured out that she was trying to cheat on one of my really good friends.

I wish I had this kind of dirt to just end it, but I don't know anything. I know that is terrible to say, but it is the fastest way of ending it.

I know what some of you are saying, "Do it! She is obsessed over you!!" Trust me, nothing good happens from this sort of thing.

So now you kind of know the premise, I have a few questions.

1) How should I go about telling her no?
2) How long will she be hurt for?
3) What are the down sides of that method?

Please reply quickly, and please no BS answers. I don't need this with this stress.

Thanks in advance,
Mayson

[Confusedinomicon]

Just tell her you aren't interested. Faster then starting a rumor and no ones reputation gets tarnished.

She may be hurt for a little while, but should get over it. It will hurt more for her if you make her believe you are into her because you can't tell her the truth.

I commend you, Mayson, for caring about hurting the girl. That said, it's time to set your boundary by telling her straight-on and with no hesitation that you are not interested in a relationship. As in, "The way you're acting toward me is really bothering me. I don't want to hurt you, but I'm going to be very honest: I am not interested in a relationship with you. Now please leave me alone." And walk away. It will sting her, but believe me, she'll survive and you'll be able to enjoy going out again.

Let us know how it goes.

[Mayson]

I wasn't intending on starting a rumor. That is not cool at all, especially knowing what it is like to be on the receiving end.
I'm hoping she doesn't try to ruin it for me, by making it h*** to be there. I feel like that is something she might do, luckily, I am good friends with a majority of regulars, who will back me up if any rumors are started.
I'll tell her the next time I see her there, and I'll definitely need some support afterwards.

[avlady]

go with sister Rags insight

[blur]

"I'm flattered but I'm not interested in you that way. I just want to keep things as friends." I'd be casual about it, so she doesn't feel humiliated, but honest so she gets the message. Be kind but firm.

[lovesdogs99]

Well coming from a 15 year old girl, just be honest with her. Don't butter stuff up. Don't say, "you're cute but I don't like you in that way." Be kind at first. Do what blur said. But if she doesn't leave you alone, you need to be a little mean or she won't get the message. You'll have to tell her to back off.

[MissBelle00]

It's nice that you're concerned about her feelings, but you need to understand that you can't keep every single girl who happens to be into you for the rest of your life from getting hurt.

Here's the truth: It's life. Hurt happens. And hurt NEEDS to happen, so people can grow and mature and learn.

If anything, this will be a good experience for the girl. People who never get rejected usually turn out to be snobs who think they can get anything they want. And I can guarantee you won't be the last person to reject her in her life.

You say "please no BS answers", but honestly, what do you expect? There are only so many things you could possibly do in this situation. You could continue on without doing anything and nothing will change, or you could tell her to stop. We can't make miracles happen for you. YOU need to make that choice.

Honesty is usually the best course of action. Don't be mean about it, but put your foot down so she'll know you mean it.

[Mayson]

By BS answers I was meaning answers like "just do it" or "just leave it alone", neither of which would help.

I thank you all for your help, and with the few posts I have made I have realized I let my feelings of frustration show too much in my opinion. It's kinda hard to be fully objective, and any moderator will say the same.

No promises, but I will try my best to keep my posts as objective as possible. (this doesn't mean no feelings, just describing situations)

Also, most of my posts are made between 11:00 and 2:00 in the morning right now, so half my brain is fried.