My Concern for the Young

Some young adults I communicate with, here on PC, seem lost. I've been thinking about this for a while. I'm in my 60's now. So it's been a few years since I was a young adult. And I can sort-of remember being somewhat bewildered by life at that time.

I had graduated from high school & the Vietnam war was in full swing. I had managed, somehow, to get myself into the local college, despite my high school grades. But I was seriously underwhelmed with higher education. So I was in-&-out of college. And whenever I was out, my friends & neighbors on the local draft board would begin chasing my ***** around. They had a one-way ticket, with my name on it, to the rice paddies in southeast Asia. I was already weighted down with depression, anxiety & GID. I'd been bullied, both verbally & physically, throughout junior & senior high school. I was, & would continue to be, a mess although I didn't realize it.

Despite all of this, though, I don't recall ever feeling like I was a complete failure & that no one & nothing could ever help. I had my dreams. True, that's all they were. But despite that, I had them. And so, even though I felt bewildered much of the time, I don't recall feeling completely hopeless. (That would come many years later.) This, however, is the perspective at least some young people today seem to have. They are completely desperate & convinced there is no hope. Nothing one can say seems to help.

Now, I'm sure this is not the way all young adults feel today. Perhaps those who do constitute only a tiny minority of young adults today. And just because I didn't feel completely hopeless (even though I pretty much was) this doesn't necessarily mean there weren't young adults back then who felt this way. So I could be quite off the mark here. But it does concern me. I keep trying to think of what one could say to a young adult who feels absolutely hopeless to help them to lift themselves back up. So far, I haven't come up with anything. What do you think

I hear you, T S. I do know a few young people - especially those with mental illness - who feel extremely despondent. Honestly, though, I'm not sure the situation is really any different than it ever was. I also know loads of young people who are productive, feel successful with their lives, and are truly contributing to the world in tremendously positive ways. In fact, I know many more hopeful, motivated young people than not.

im starting uni this fall and i feel completely hopeless. i feel like a failure dont know what to do with my life and i dont know anything about my future. just hoping things go well though...

Well bubbles00, if you were accepted to uni you're definitely doing something right. Try and keep your focus on starting uni...you'll most probably get a sense of direction throughout the first semester.

I changed my major, into my second year. Along with my bff. Sometimes you walk in, thinking it's mapped out. Then after a while, better reasoning and analytical skills set in from studies.
She and I, changed to the same major, believing it was more well rounded, in choice. Yet, different directions within that major.

It isn't necessary to have all the answers, that doesn't determine success/failure?

How do your parents feel, about your enrollment?

Skeezyks, I, too, in my 60's. I remember all the hopes, and dreams of those teenage years to age 30 something. I even accomplished some of them, but my depression didn't hit me until my 30's.

I have noticed a lot the young people on here being very scared of the future. I don't know if it mental health or just the new reality of the economy. I don't know what to tell them either. All except good grades, elementary and high school were easy for me. I feel such sympathy for those young people that are not getting to enjoy those years.

Thank you for this reply, Bubbles00: Unfortunately, what you have written in your reply is exactly what I was writing about when I opened this thread. And equally unfortunately, as I wrote when I opened this thread, I don't know what to say that will help. I do hope that entering university will open new horizons for you. I do believe having a dream or two can be very helpful... (even if you never pursue it to any serious degree.) A dream or two can be a star to guide you through the darkness. As another person wrote here, the fact that you're going to uni, means that you're doing something right My very best wishes to you...

I get the concern, about 'expressions' of 'hopelessness' ,by the younger members.

I wonder, if it would help us, help themselves, if perhaps questioning a moment, briefly, word choices?

As a more tech savvy generation, there's much more bombardment of words. And as a parent to the next generation down, I question word choices. And, a bit of picking up catch phrases, for instance, my oldest started saying, 'i hate myself' ,several months back,much to my dismay. Neither his father nor myself, speak like that about ourselves. Catch phrase, expression. ..way out of context and, needed to be addressed. He may go through a period of feeling upset with himself during his microbursts, but self defeating talk at 11?? C'mon!
I will validate and support him, using less what he considers standard word attachment to a feeling, let's dig deeper....
Is i hate myself, as an expression, about self loathing, or, is it a learned expression used that is double in meaning, such as, i just took all your monopoly money in a swindled deal...gosh, i really hate myself Sometimes?

Bubbles, I hope you don't mind my using 'i feel like a failure', as case in point. And I hope you return, and help...non critical, hun..as support

I wonder, if it's. I fear failure. I worry, what's in store?

Just wanted to contribute to this very important discussion. ..

Hi Skeezyks, I'd say this thread could run, and run, and run on the why's........you know culture, technology, today's standards/expectations/opportunities.............so I'll just take the what to say bit if that's OK
And you know maybe you're thinking a little too hard on this?? Because I'd say you know (and show on here!!) a lot more than than you think you do.
It can often be impossible to know exactly what's going on for someone, because everyone is going to experience the world differently and that's where understanding, caring and empathy come in. Which you have loads of!!!
You're talking to someone who is depressed, feeling hopeless, feeling that nothing is ever going to change for them, or they can't see how they can change a thing (haven't even got the energy to want to).........doesn't necessarily matter if they're 16, 27 or 50 really the feelings are the same and you know what that's like, who better to understand them/to empathize with them?? And just knowing that someone "gets it", cares, wants to listen, is there for you can matter a lot. And when it comes to possibilities out there you know from experience (seeing, hearing, watching, reading, doing............things) some of the maybe's. But hey, check out more, if you want.
Although you know it's not always about giving answers it's sometimes about supporting people to a place where they can better find their own answers. Sure suggestions are good (and sometimes they might work, but.....) but sometimes just by throwing them in it can help people gradually, when they are able, think "maybe........" and lead them to asking more questions for themselves and finding their own answers.
And....."Nothing one can say seems to help", "I keep trying to think of what one could say to a young adult who feels absolutely hopeless to help them to lift themselves back up" well I know you know this too..........sometimes with depression, hopelessness, helplessness there aren't any "magical words", and getting to the point of being able to help someone to the point of lifting themselves back up can sometimes take a long time. Depression certainly isn't easy to beat!! But bit by bit words can hopefully gather significance. So even if it seems that what you're saying might be falling into nothingness it might be that those words are a few of the ten thousand (????) words it might take to get to the point of...........and does it really matter if your words number ten, twenty or ten thousand. They all matter just as much.
And I'll tell you Skeezyks, from your posts you have definitely, absolutely thrown words/comments in there that count, if not always on their own if someone is really depressed, then that count towards that ten thousand (???). And that is one of the amazing things about here, right? How everyone works together in their own way towards.................
Some people you can help more than others just because sometimes there is/isn't as much of a "connection" between you but..................
So don't be disheartened, don't over think, just be yourself, you're already "doing it" because
And I'm sure a lot of us can learn a lot form you (I know I can!!!!)



Alison

You are too kind, Alison...