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#1
Aug 10, 2014, 08:03 PM
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Hi all. I guess I'll just get to the point. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and my husband has Schizoid Personality Disorder. We've been together for over five years, married for six months. We are, as people, as compatible as two people can be. We are completely and totally in love. When things are good, they are amazing beyond description. But when the disorders come into play, everything changes. We've taken several breaks from our relationship, and are on one now. It's never my idea/need. I want communication; he's emotionally detached. I won't explain every detail of BPD and SPD, but those of you who know the symptoms... I'm not sure what I'm hoping for here, but I just need to get it out. I feel like I can't live with or without him, and it's making me crazy. I love him more than anything... but it isn't easy. But it's worth it... to me, anyway. But at what price?
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#2
Aug 11, 2014, 11:04 AM
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You have a lot of history together. Is it possible to have an "agreement" as to what the process is when the disorders are coming into play? Can you agree to take some time apart without the threat of never getting back together again?
As long is there is not emotional and physical abuse - can the good outweigh the bad - and manage the bad?
__________________
“A person is also mentally weak by the quantity of time he spends to sneak peek into others lives to devalue and degrade the quality of his own life.” Anuj Somany “Psychotherapy works by going deep into the brain and its neurons and changing their structure by turning on the right genes. The talking cure works by "talking to neurons," and that an effective psychotherapist or psychoanalyst is a "microsurgeon of the mind" who helps patients make needed alterations in neuronal networks.” Norman Doidge |
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#3
Aug 11, 2014, 12:28 PM
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I'm BPD and my BF detaches when depressed.
I know how rough it can get when that happens to you. We've been on and off for the past almost 5 years and consecutively on for the past 2... (knock on wood. lol) Granted our off times were due to my issues, but his detachment still stings and eats at all my BPD weak spots. I'm sure that with good communication surrounding eachother's needs and mutual respect for those needs a long lasting loving relationship is definitely possible. Don't let your dxs scare you into thinking otherwise. As long as both of you are committed to the health and longevity of your relationship, I see no reason why your marriage wouldn't last. If things do get a bit too tricky, why not see a marriage counselor to help the 2 of you navigate the rocky / scary bits...
__________________
 DXD BP1, BPD & OCPD  "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists in tact, is to realise, two out of three aint bad" FOB...
Last edited by Trippin2.0; Aug 11, 2014 at 02:59 PM. |
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#4
Aug 11, 2014, 12:47 PM
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My brother and his wife are of this combination and recently passed the 25-year mark. I hardly know a couple more devoted, no doubt in part as a result of having stood by each other through so many trials along the way.
__________________
“We use our minds not to discover facts but to hide them. One of things the screen hides most effectively is the body, our own body, by which I mean, the ins and outs of it, its interiors. Like a veil thrown over the skin to secure its modesty, the screen partially removes from the mind the inner states of the body, those that constitute the flow of life as it wanders in the journey of each day.” — Antonio R. Damasio, “The Feeling of What Happens: Body and Emotion in the Making of Consciousness” (p.28) |
 Trippin2.0
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