When your thinking about someone you know isn't thinking about you

Awwwwww the crush mode...you don't get many of them as you get older...your either too busy or your emotionally suppressed but then there's those few moments in your life where you've met some one that lights your internal fire, someone that you can't help but feel an emotional tie to. Whether you've exchanged suggestive glances or you've actually had a few conversations with this person, they've unintentionally implanted a warmth in your soul. But the odds are your internalizing this more than the other person. I don't have scientific evidence to back that up and I may be wrong. But how often has there been a time that it leads anywhere? Probably not many. However for those of you optimist out there, those of you who have made your crushes into lovers please take time to give me some advice.

In short I used to live in another state, far from where I live now. I met this guy in high school who stole my heart by accident. He has the bluest eyes and just the right kind of smile that made you feel like you were home. Anyways I was crushing hard and he would flirt with me but never tipping the cup. Alway kept me on a high wire. I was overweight. Than I lost it. Mostly for him. We had one night together at a friends house where I may have had too many wine coolers (3) I was 14 . I begged him to kiss me and after he did I professed my love to him and such immature things..of which he doesn't remember to this day thank god! Well anyways I moved shortly after that, it didn't go anywhere. I than thought of him, maaaany years later, while talking to my friend and said I'll find him on Facebook. I did and we talked. Still the same guy. Said it was nice talking to me, said things like he'll stay in touch and it felt like this time I had him...nope....he never sent me a message..so I pursued again...convo went dry....so I let it go thinking maybe he's busy ( he was deployed at the time). Still weeks went by and nothing. Not that I'm waiting by my Facebook, I just noticed you know, well I pursued again yesterday...cool he's asking if I'm single, we're talking about things, I run out of things to ask...and convo goes dry....fuhuhdgkjndkfjhdkfjvgj.....I say ok I'll let you go...he says ok I'm going to bed....I go check my Facebook just to look and wow he was on it again an hour after he said he was going to bed....yah sounds creepy but I hate being led on and I hate looking like a fool....he hasn't messages me today, he probably won't message me and it sucks! Only thing I got from him that I think is the problem is he's really into fitness now(army) and ughhhhh I'm about 100lbs overweight but even then!! If I lost the weight (which could very well take a year or more) where would my army boy be...in the arms of another fit chick?? Or deleted Facebook destroying any possibility of me ever talking to him again....why wouldn't he want to even talk to me??? Well he's back in the sates as of today and my plan is to leave him be and let him unwind before I make any other attempt or just leave it up to him...wish I could leave some mark on him where he'll at least have a thought if me....wish he could give me a chance...how weird he could mean so much to me but right now I'm the farthest thing from his mind...

Sorry just to inform you , I'm not stalking him, I'm not obsessed, just my past feelings for this guy have been rekindled and I have this feeling it will lead somewhere, I just do....any advice?? A way to hook him in...?

As great as it would be, honestly I don't think you can. You've been the one reaching out to him each time and you've acknowledged that he isn't showing much interest. Doesn't sound like there is much of anything to base your interest off of either other than your feelings from years ago; that is what is on your mind and is motivating you to keep trying. It's hard to let go of this... Focusing on the present with your polite talks shows it may be best to look elsewhere.

I agree. I tell my 26 year old daughter that when she finds a guy that likes her he will be calling all the time and she won't be able to miss him at all. If YOU want to lose weight, why not focus on that? Then you'll feel that you are at your very best when you meet the next guy. If the weight doesn't bother you then just keep pursuing other interests. You will meet someone.

Even if you were to 'hook him in', what's to say he's the right fish for you? He's already not meeting your needs to be wooed and attended to, even as friends.

I wouldn't stand by someone who couldn't give me priority status.

Who is chasing whom here? I think its important to say that this guy just isn't into you. When a guy wants a woman, he will make it known. If he doesn't contact you again, you have your answer. I say go do your own thing. Lose the weight for YOU! (I'm starting a new diet, and yes I'm doing it for me and my future, not for anyone else!)