[BubonicPlague]

I'm going to try and change myself.

My mom and dad are urging me to be social. They said I need to stop being scared, stop complaining about being depressed all the time, and start changing things to make my life better.

I still feel scared in getting rejected, criticized, ignored, and mistreated in various ways. I also have a hard time keeping a positive attitude about it, so if something really small happens (if it's just a minor incident), I get triggered and I retreat back to being reclusive.

It feels like I have to go through this even though it's painstaking for me. It will hurt me having to go through negative situations. I was told that I'm missing out on opportunities to learn from my mistakes.

I have a feeling this is going to be really hard for me. My mom said she's to the point where she doesn't know how else to help me, because I haven't listened to what she told me to do. I know haven't listened to her, but I feel like there is something for everything that is preventing me from achieving what I want. I just can't help but fall back into a depressive state and give up on everything.

This will be hard.

What do I need to know about social skills?

What do I need to know about social cues?

How do I improve my confidence?

[healingme4me]

I used to be sensitive to perceived judgement, sensitive to criticism as though my identity rode on how I believed others saw me, and taken aback by what I thought was shunning.
I believe late teens, early adult years are not only most difficult, but also what can make or break many people. It's difficult, yet it's not where truth and awareness typically occurs. Can stunt growth like mad.
It's a time period, of envy. For instance, one could view you as having what they want and shun you, because they themselves lack foresight to realize the world is complex and each of us bears our own metaphorical cross.
With that said, how to read social cues? A person just sitting looking around quietly is more approachable than one aggressively speaking in a group.
It's perhaps easier to converse aside from the attention getter than it is to try and participate within their circle, as egos could bruise.

Confidence is to trust that you matter as much as the next guy, but without expecting privileges. Stay humble. Stay True. Sometimes it is nobler to listen and hear, than to be on the podium speaking.

As you gain your own beliefs, keep in mind, they are subject to change, remain flexible in growing/ maturing.

[ChipperMonkey]

Have you ever been to therapy or do you have a therapist right now? Have you ever heard of CBT? (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) I ask as it sounds like you've got a lot of negative thoughts running around in your head that aren't true, and these negative thoughts are bringing down your self esteem and confidence. I think CBT could help you to combat these thoughts and feel better about yourself. If you don't have access to therapy, then I recommend CBT for Dummies. It is such a great book, and you can get a workbook and journal to go with it. If you can't afford to buy it, many local libraries carry these titles as well.

CBT has been so helpful in my healing journey because it helped me to change all of those negative thoughts I had running around in my head. I have a lot more confidence now.

Just like you, I'm the person who can't stand social contact or small chit-chat, which basically describes an introvert. Don't worry, what opened up my personality little by little was to do community service because the people there either just see you or praise you for your talent, hard work, and/or service. That's a great way to become more social. You can also join clubs (not only at school) and meet people there who have the same interest(s) as you~

Quiet people tend to embrace conversations when they're in a comfortable environment, so it's possibly not a good idea to start at parties (unless there are people there you know).

As for the confidence part, it's up to you to build that up. It's all about a person's comfort zone, and it varies in people. Also, (this might be a topic change), as quiet people we can observe how other people behave and converse, so you'll learn something from them~! Be free like this penguin~! ^_^

[lilypup]

I really like the idea of volunteer work. I've learned a lot and made friends that way.

[jimmy rich]

Originally Posted by BubonicPlague

What do I need to know about social skills?

I'd google it and/or go into a library and read whatever books you can find on that subject or look up Codependency.

What do I need to know about social cues?

go here: Social cue - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

How do I improve my confidence?

I'd get into a Self Esteem workshop or acquire some books, tapes, CDs or google it. Joining a support group like Codependents Anonymous can help you find people struggling with the same "issues" and they will offer you very good and useful support and feedback on how they are dealing with life. I'd imagine there are a lot of other good support groups out there so.....
good luck,
Jim