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#1
Aug 24, 2014, 01:44 PM
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My ex of over 8 years whom I have two kids with and one on the way doesn't understand why I am still in love with him. He thinks I should be over him already and moved on. We've only been split up for not even 4 weeks yet so why would he think I would just be over him. He keeps saying really harsh things to me that I know isn't true because he doesn't want me to be in love with him. Throughout our whole relationship he always wanted attention, if he felt I wasn't showing him enough love he would get upset and assume I didn't love him. I always tried really hard to show him that I loved him but I think he has truly convinced himself that I am this really awful person. I know I am not, people always tell me I am one of the most nicest person they have ever met and I have a good heart. I always put others before myself. He claims he just wants to be free and single and wants a "break" or space from us but I know how he is. He wants that love and attention, he wants to feel appreciated. Other girls are not going to just offer that too him right away. I feel so rejected and hurt by him and he knows that I do love and care for him so I don't know why he has pushed me away like this. He is going to be 34 soon, he isn't college educated, he doesn't even work right now (quit just before he dumped me) and he has 3 kids he has to currently support with another on the way. Why on earth he would think another female would want to be with him is beyond me. He doesn't have anything to bring to the table.....
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 anon20141119
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#2
Aug 24, 2014, 03:59 PM
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Why do you want someone who doesn't bring anything to the table. How are you going to provide for three kids, with a deadbeat, purposefully unemployed' donor'?
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 Trippin2.0
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#3
Aug 24, 2014, 05:08 PM
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You need to be seeing an attorney about setting up child support and Divorce (if your married) and separation of belongings.
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
| ChipperMonkey
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#4
Aug 24, 2014, 06:05 PM
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I think he stuck by you for so long because you gave him all that attention. Now with three kids, he knows he's not going to get much of your time! I agree with the others. Get a lawyer so that you can file for support. He is a BIG BABY that never learned how to grow up. I also think that you should work on setting stronger boundaries and learning to say no instead of always being the one who is constantly giving. A relationship is give and take on BOTH sides. You do all the giving, and he does all the taking. I wish you the best.
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#5
Aug 24, 2014, 07:17 PM
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Quote:
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| anon20141119
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#6
Aug 24, 2014, 07:17 PM
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Quote:
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| anon20141119
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| Bill3, healingme4me, kindachaotic, Tazmeena, Trippin2.0, ~Christina
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#7
Aug 25, 2014, 11:59 AM
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Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
 The obvious change in him is NOT your fault. It's good that you are doing something for yourself in going through legalities to deal with the situation.
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#8
Aug 25, 2014, 03:59 PM
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It's been a long 4 weeks for me but I'm not feeling as sad anymore unless I am around him. As it was pointed out by my parents and his dad, my ex had been emotionally and mentally abusing me for years. If he wasn't in control of the situation than he wasn't happy. But now I have joined a dating site, not looking to jump into anything but more so looking for friends and hopefully something can grow from there. I just worry about trusting others because that was one of the things that I had a hard time with my ex. He made lots of promises over the years that were all lies. I honestly can't differentiate his lies from the truth. I think it's a good thing that I have reached this point although I know it can take a lot of time to fully heal from this relationship. He has apparently moved on and is seeking other girls anyways.
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| ~Christina
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#9
Aug 28, 2014, 02:54 AM
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Diana:
here is something that might help you. good luck. Barbara De Angelis PH.D. - Official Barbara DeAngelis Website 
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#10
Aug 28, 2014, 04:21 AM
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Just be careful, even in making just friends. If he'd been controlling and abusive, the chances are without adequate time to just focus on yourself and your children, ending up with being treated worse than you'd imagined increases. It would be from the blindside of things.
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| ~Christina
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